Withered Petals: Childhood
by Aisaki Sumi
Summary: [COMPLETED]Part One of Withered Petals: obsession, you steal all conscious thoughts and I will sink deeper, struggling. Because into you I will fall...so quickly that I forget how to breathe. Sakura x Syaoran, friendship fic.
1. The Deceptive World

**Withered Petals  
**_By: Aisaki Sumi_

Disclaimer: CCS does not belong to me, nor do the historical facts I have obtained from the book _Memoirs of a Geisha_. As well, the first chapter might appear to be similar to the book itself, but, it's actually not if you look at the characterization and how things came about carefully. Also, at the time, many families sold their daughter to geisha houses to get by their living, because that was how everything was back in the 1800s and 1900s. If you have read the book, _Memoirs of a Geisha_, you should be able to tell the difference between my plot and the book's plot, as well as how the characters were portrayed. 

_Summary: In a world where women are trained to beguile the most powerful men; where love is scorned as a mere illusion; Sakura, a renowned geisha is taught to only entertain and charm men but never to love them. Trained to be as obedient as a kitten, she never dares to question life, until she met a man as irresistible as him, opening her view to another path she has never seen before – a rebellious, liberal life, enabling her to take destiny into her own hands. A tale of two people finding their places in society, their purpose of existence, and surviving in a world where freedom is limited by gender difference, cultural difference; yet their love crosses all boundaries, binding them together with invisible strings._

A/N: This story is NOT based on the book, Memoirs of a Geisha, written by the talented writer, Arthur Golden. The geisha idea is INSPIRED by it, but the plot does not follow the book's. Please don't jump into the conclusion and think that simply because this story has geishas in there, it is going to be just like _Memoirs of a Geisha_. There are many published novels out there that are about Geishas, and does that necessarily mean they all got the idea from _Memoirs_?

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**Chapter 1 the Deceptive World**

A wrong turn or following a wrong trail may cause one to lose their direction and become lost in the unknown, unfamiliar world surrounding them. It might be temporarily, or permanently. I had to learn my lesson through the hard way. The realization came to me slower than it should have, considering at the time, I didn't even know that I was being sold to a geisha house, far away in Kyoto, and by my very own parents. The people I trusted my whole life. I might have been a young girl at the time, and might have not understood the reason behind their actions, but one thing I was sure of – I was unwanted; unwanted by the world, my parents, my family. I didn't lose my track; I wasn't lost because of my foolishness. I was more abandoned than lost.

Born as the youngest child of my family, I knew at a young age that my family wasn't wealthy, in fact, it was impoverished. My father was a local farmer. Like his father, he inherited the land from the past generation and became a strawberry farmer, following the footsteps of my grandfather, and my great grandfather. He said it was an honor to carry on our family's business. During the day, he would work on the fields with my mother and my sister and older brother, protecting the strawberries from the wanted invaders – weeds and other plants that would be competing with the baby strawberries – as I'd like to call them – for food and water.

Mother said they must go there daily to get ride of these weeds in order for the baby strawberries to grow. I offered helped a number of times, but mother patted my head caringly, stroking the soft strands of auburn hair and would whisper to me "You're still young Sakura-chan. When you're a bit older, we'll let you help out." I loved her tone of voice, so quiet and velvety, filled with feminine richness. I couldn't help but feel dazed under her loving caress. Her hands were roughened by the years of work, but her caress was just as gentle as summer breeze.

"When you grow older, you'll be able to see the world. You'll go to school, learn the things we've never learned before and become educated." In those days, after a hard day of work, she would sit beside me, lay my head onto her lap and we would watch the sun set. Dusk was beautiful, far more elegant and enchanting than anything I've ever seen before, probably because I lived in a small and poor village and rarely got to see anything exciting.

The way the dying sun would throw such glorious embers of hope, and how the world became embraced by the ethereal light – fascinated me. The clouds scattered, and like countless unfolded sheets of white, were tinged slightly orange and violet. The beautiful landscape of our small village; the little crocked muddy, meandering road that looked as if it would lead us directly to the sun on the horizon. At a time like this, mother would murmur softly to me of the possibilities laid ahead of me and the brightness of my future. She had always said that I was the cleverest one of the family, because I had rather large head, which was an indication of intelligence at the time.

"Sakura, when you grow up, you will be a successful woman, much more successful than any of your siblings will ever be. You'll be the first one to move into a large city, and live a luxurious life." She would say those words with great certainties and leaned forward and smile at me. The orangey rays of the sun, illuminating her face, casing a soft glow over her aged, yet still elegant face. And when she opened her eyes again, the emerald colored orbs would come into view, sparkling majestically under the luminous radiance. Mother had an oval face, slightly pointy around the chin, and a delicate nose. Her lips were the colors of the strawberries, full and very attractive to look at. But her eyes, were the most captive part of her face, they were the color of emerald, like mine. There were lines – which I later on learned to be wrinkles, something most women detested – but I thought they further enhanced the maturity of her face. They were the symbols of wisdom.

Part of mother's predictions did come true however, I did get to live in a large city, a partially luxurious life as a geisha, but I didn't think she wanted any of that for me. She probably wanted me to become a high class woman by marrying a rich man with a much higher status than us. But I was young at the time, and dreamed away, and believing in mother's words whole-heartedly, as if I really was going to become something more than I am now. During the day, when mother wasn't around, I would sit on the porch outside of our little house, and stare up at the vast blueness above me, and the far horizon that seemingly, represented my future, since mother always stared at that when she talked about my future.

I was only eight at the time. A child with great dreams and hopes for the future, but little did I know that everything was going to be shattered into tiny pieces. It happened the day our local doctor came over to our house and announced the dreadful news of mother being very sick. He said it was some sort of cancer. I didn't understand the meaning of that word back then, since I had very limited knowledge of biology. I thought it was just some sort of disease, like a cold, that would soon go away after plenty of rest and water. But I was wrong…

"'kaasan." I called out softly, as quiet as possible. I didn't want to wake up my sister who was sleeping on the futon beside mother. I tiptoed across the room, like a cat, I made no noises whatsoever, not even the slightest creak. After hearing a painful grunt from mother, I suspected she was awake. Crawling on the cold wooden floor, I made my way toward her futon and seated myself beside her and gazed at her face. Mother looked so fragile and pale, her lips loosing their usual redness. Her face grew pointier than before, and her closed eyes seemed to have sunk back into her skull. There were dark, grey bags under her eyes, and her cheeks were the color of a sheet of white paper.

"'kaasan." I whispered again, bending myself down so my lips were centimeters away from her ears. But mother made no reply, she shifted uncomfortably, eyebrows furrowing slightly as she grunted painfully again. I thought mother was mad at me because there was a deep frown on her face. My eyes saddened as I bent down to plant a butterfly-light kiss on her cold, grey cheek. "Please get better soon 'kaasan." With that, I left the room, soundlessly; like a ghost of the night, disappeared without any traces.

……

Ever since mother got sick, an uncomfortable, almost sickening atmosphere seemed to have settled in our little house permanently. Father had never smiled again after the devastating news of mother being very sick with leukemia. He seemed quieter than usual and kept everything to himself and seemed to be spending more time on the farm than at home. Oniichan said this was father's way of expressing his sadness and grieving over the dreadful news that mother might not be with us for long. I asked him childishly if mother was going to go anywhere, but oniichan didn't reply. I saw crystal-like droplets forming in the corner of his eyes, shimmering under the dim candle fire.

As the days passed mother grew wearier and paler than before. She was losing weight rapidly. I could hardly recognize her. Her body was like a skeleton, wrapped in a layer of grayish skin. Sometimes I would take a peek at her when my sister was helping her get dressed, and I could see the shape of her ribcage, and her skinny, bony shoulder and hips. My mind denied the fact that it was actually my mother that I was seeing, not a skeleton. She was perfectly healthy a few months ago, and we even watched dusk together, but now…she seemed like a ghost, someone else who I barely knew. Mother spent most of her time sleeping in her room, grunting painfully, and I rarely got to see her around the house or on the farm or on the porch anymore.

But what I didn't know was she would soon vanish from my life forever. The goodbye came all too sudden, and before I could even get a sense of what was going on, I saw people coming over to my house, wearing all black and paying their last respect to my mother. My father looked much older than he usually was, his eyes were hallow and dark, my sister and brother were weeping, especially my sister. There were streams of tears rushing down her cheeks, washing away one trail but only to leave another. The sky, I recalled, was mournfully gray that day, as if it was weeping with the rest of us. But I was confused, lost, why were all the people here? Why were my brother and sister crying? Where was mother? Was she still sleeping in her room?

My thoughts were interrupted by a strong grasp on my shoulder. I looked up and saw my father standing behind me. "Sakura-chan…okaasan has left us and went to a better place, she wants you to know that she'll watch over you and us from that place." Father's voice was quivering, hoarse. His shoulder was shaking uncontrollably, but I could not see his face that well, it was shadowed.

"Is she going to come back and visit us?" I asked naively, the thought of mother leaving us stirred this anxious feeling in my heart. Did I do something wrong to mother? Did she get mad at me for disturbing her the other day when she was asleep? These thoughts scared me, but the thought of mother leaving because of me made me feel even worse. It twisted my guts and I felt like throwing up.

Father shook his head lightly, sniffled lightly and said nothing afterwards. The deafening silence echoed in our small house, and I was more horrified than ever. I could not imagine my life without mother. She had always been there for me, but now, she had left, abandoned me because I made her mad. I didn't even get a chance to apologize to her and beg her to stay. Crystal tears began to roll down my cheeks as I broke free from father's grasp and dashed to mother's room. When I got there, the room was neatly organized, as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. I slid the closet door open and found mother's section empty. She really did leave, I concluded in despair.

Days after mother's funeral, which I assumed at the time – a goodbye party for my mother, I began to isolate myself and grieving in the corner of our small house. No one really paid much attention to me at the time since it had only been a few days since my mother had passed away. They were all lost in their own overwhelming sorrows. Just when I thought things could not possibly be worse than this, the worst thing in my life happened to me.

On that day, only sister and I were home, cleaning the floor, doing our usual chores, then somebody knocked hard on the door. My sister wept her wet hands on the greasy apron she was wearing and headed for the door, only to be greeted by a bunch of strangers wearing expensive kimonos. "Is Kinomoto-san home?" Inquired one of the men standing by the door, he had his hair pulled into a pony-tail sort of thing, popular at the time among the men.

"My father is not at home right now. It will take him a while to get back from the field, is there anything I can do for you?" My sister asked with great formality, one of her hands holding firmly onto the door knob. I poked my head out of the kitchen to steal a glance at the stranger who was talking to my sister.

"I'm afraid I must talk to your father about this, as you can see, it is very complex. It'd be better if you call your father back to the house so we can have a chat." The stranger replied coldly but keeping the politeness while his eyes revealing his unfriendly intentions. My sister paused for a moment, to sort through her thoughts and then turned around to face me. "Go get father." Her instruction was simple yet very demanding. Before I could open my mouth and ask her 'what for', she narrowed her eyes at me. It was the sign of 'leave now'. Without any further questioning, I dashed for the backdoor of our little house which would eventually lead me to father's strawberry land.

After I have reached father's strawberry land, I looked around, and only saw a field of green. "'tousan!" I called out, my eyes traveling across the vast expanse of green and stopped and focused on the object that was moving. "TOUSAN!" I increased the volume of my voice and saw father's head poking out of the sea of green leaves. I gestured him to come over and he did. "Tou-san, some people I don't know are talking to neechan right now, and they said they want to talk to you." Father's expression darkened as I finished my sentence. Without a word, he brushed pass me and strode off to our house.

I scratched my head a bit, confused of what was going on but decided to follow him anyway. The trip back to our house was spent in pure silence, father seemed to be in hurry yet his movements revealed great reluctance. It looked to me as if his body was moving but his mind was refusing to move. The way his walk looked was so unnatural and nearly brought out my laughter, but I thought better of it and continued to follow him.

Arriving our little house, father slowed down his pace and eventually coming to a stop a few meters away from the strangers. "Arai-san." Father bowed slightly, indicating that he had acknowledged the other's presence. The stranger in the middle, whose stomach reminded me of a ball sticking out underneath his kimono, turned around with great difficulties. His small eyes squinted at me and my father as his lips curved into a sneer. His fat hands cupped together and the palms rubbing against each other conspiratorially.

"Ah Kimonoto-san." The round man named Arai spoke, sounding as if he was a friend of my father's who was here on vocation. "About the loan, today is the last day to repay it. I have already extended the dates and I cannot postpone it any longer. You see, I'm in a very difficult position as well, and the money I lent out to you would really help me out of this tough situation."

Money? My ears picked up the sound of that word. Everything we had that was valuable was exchanged into cash to buy the expensive herbs that could release some of my mother's pain. Our house was nearly empty, the only thing we had that was valuable was the 7 acres of strawberry land that was passed down from generations to generations. I studied father's stoic expression, and saw glimpse of anger seeping through his dark eyes, but he kept his composure.

"I will repay it as soon as I've sold all the strawberries." My father replied, his broken voice gave away his despair and anxiety. "Give me a few more days, Onegai shimasu Arai-san." Pushing aside his pride and dignity, father pleaded. It was the first time I've seen him like this. I felt an extra weight on my heart that was nearly crushing it. However, Arai was delighted at this sight, his cruel smile enlarged as he let out a rough, heartless laugh.

"Isn't that what you said a few days ago? As soon as you can sell all your strawberries, you'll pay back the debt." His eyes glinted harshly as he glared at my father, then to me. "The pests are eating away your strawberries, and it's highly unlikely anyone's going to buy those rotten berries! Just give me your goddamn land. It might be worthless, but it can still pay back half of your debt. As for the other half, you can give me your son and he will work as a slave at my factory for the rest of his life."

Horror flashed in my father's eyes as he heard those words. "No not the land and my son!" Before he could even realize what he was saying, the anxious words already came out and it was too late to take them back. It earned my father another cold laugh from Arai.

"I knew you would say that." Arai then snorted, his tiny eyes then settled upon my face. "Ohhh come here you pretty one!" He waved his hand at me to gesture me to come forward. I felt my body frozen on the spot, unable to move. "Come here!" The order came out very harsh and impatient, and snapped me back to reality. I was startled and on the verge of crying as I walked toward him slowly.

He picked up my chin and turned my head to the right side then left, inspecting my face as if I was some kind of meat he was picking up in the grocery store. His fat finger held my chin so tightly that caused me to yelp in pain, but he paid no attention to that. "Hmm, pretty nose, nice lips, and oh my, such brilliant eyes." Exclaimed Arai as he gazed into my eyes with astonishment. His tiny black orbs glinted mischievously as he let go of my chin and turned to face my father again.

"Old kinomoto, you've got such a pretty girl up in your sleeves huh? How's this, you give her to me and train her as a geisha to pay off your debts?" Arai offered, extending out his arms. I looked at father anxiously, hoping he would say no. I didn't really understand what a geisha was at that time, but something was certain, the round man was going to take me away from my family.

My father was silent for a moment, his head lowered, strands of gray hair falling onto his eyes, masking his face, making it unreadable. The silent moment seemed to have lasted forever, until my father broke it with a soft whisper. "I'm sorry Sakura." Arai-san's expression brightened up as he enclosed the distance between him and father and placed a hand on my father's shoulder. "Maa, it's better than selling the only thing valuable in your family. Just think about it kinomoto. You're no longer young, and if you sell your land to me, how are you going to live? Surely your eldest son and daughter can go work as slaves, but just think about the outcome of that. They'll die from the hellish work load, leaving you and your little daughter starving to death. If she becomes a geisha, she'll make a lot of money and you can still stay here and work on your land."

That was how my father and Arai-san came to their agreement and sold me off to an okiya in Kyoto, where my geisha training began. The night before my departure, father sat in the corner of our dimly lit living room which was used as a dining room, kitchen at the same time. I didn't know if he didn't want to look at me or did not have the courage to look at me. Oniichan and Oneechan strongly opposed the idea of sending me away, but after hearing father's reasons, they seemed to have quieted down.

Father pulled me to the side and held me in his arms, whispering the same thing over and over again. "Gomen nasai Sakura-chan. Gomen nasai." He stroked my hair softly but I refused to cry on his shoulder. How could he do this to me? How could he send me away like this? What if mother wants to see me again when she comes back for a visit? "You must understand, I never wanted any of this to happen. Please forgive me Sakura-Chan." He continued, but in my heart, I felt I was deceived, unwanted, I felt after my mother had left, my world started to turn upside down. And now this…my very own father was going to give me away to the mean-looking round man named Arai…

I vowed silently to myself, as an abandoned child, that I will never love and trust again.

This vow stayed with me throughout most of my geisha years…until I met him, a man as irresistible as him; a pair of amber eyes as passionate as his; torn down the ice walls I built around myself, exposing me to the world. He taught me how to love, how to believe again, how to take my destiny into my own hands…

And his name is…**Li Syaoran.**

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**A review will be greatly appreciated.**


	2. Fading into the Unfamiliarity

**Withered Petals  
**_By: Aisaki Sumi_

Disclaimer: (points at chapter one), this story is inspired by the book _Memoirs of a Geisha_, and many street names, geisha houses, geisha names are taken from the book, as well as some things that happened often at the time. Parts of the story may appear to be similar to the book, such as fierce rivalry between geishas and harsh treatments from the geisha house owners, but those are actually historical facts. The cause of the apparent similarity between the book and this story is: that's how everything was done back in the 1800s – 1900s. All the researches are credited to Arthur Golden, the talented writer of _Memoirs of a Geisha_. Descriptions of most kimonos in this story will be similar to Memoir of a Geisha because I've never seen any kimonos in my entire life and have no idea what kind of design they should have etc. 

**Chapter dedication: this chapter is dedicated to all the people who took the time to review this story! Especially the ones who had added this story to their favorite list! I am very VERY flattered and honored to have my story listed as one of your favorite stories! THANK YOU GUYS! I LOVE YOU! And keep on reviewing! XD**

A/N: I LOVE YOU GUYS! After reading a few of your reviews, I felt soooo inspired and encouraged. I really felt like taking a year or so off and only return when I'm a better writer, but oh well, if you guys say it the writing doesn't bother you that much then I'll stay and write more chappies weeee! And hopefully you can put up with my insaneness and horrible writing! XP By the way, I am challenging myself to actually write this fanfiction into a novel (well with the descriptions and all) so the length of each chapter will be rather long. So you've been warned, if you don't like long, very lengthy chapters. It is still not too late to turn around and find yourself something more amusing to read about that has the length you wanted. The story takes place during the 1930's, so yes, it will go through the Second World War. _SorryI had to reload this chapter because when I scanned through it yesterday and Inoticed a number of obvious typos in this chapter, due to the result of my extreme laziness (I didn't want to read the load of crap last time I updated this chapter XD)_

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**Chapter 2 Fading into the Unfamiliarity **

The foreignness around me seemed to be drawing me into its cold, loveless embrace. I felt its presence. I had never liked being in a foreign, unknown place. It made me feel weird, and invisible, as if I didn't matter; as if my existence was unacknowledged; as if I was transparent, visible to only myself but never the ones around me. I didn't like that, I didn't like being invisible. Before all this, whenever I felt uncomfortable, mother would always be there for me, putting a hand on my head and run it through my hair, murmuring softly to my ears, her angelic, music-like voice echoing in my ears, casting a spell on me, making all the lonely thoughts and feeling go away. But now, I was left alone in this unfamiliar world; I was miles and miles away from home. The thought of my father deceiving me made me turn colder and lonelier than I already was. I rested my head on my knees and let my eyes settle on the unclear window, covered in a thin layer of dust and dirt. It distorted the image of the outside, the passing by countryside.

The man I strongly disdained was sitting right beside me; the chubby, round man, who looked like he had ate too much the night before; who was always grunting unpleasantly – was seated right beside me, snoring out loud. I didn't really remember how long I had been on the train. It felt like forever; like an eternity -- a dreadful eternity that made me restless, and very afraid. Loneliness had always been one of my greatest fears, and I remembered clearly how each time I was afraid at night, mother would come to my tatami and caress my cheeks gently, planting a soft kiss on it and smile at me lovingly. Her beautiful emerald eyes glinting that soft glow, and the two lovely orbs shimmering under the dim light of the moon. But those were already in the past, she had left me, for a better place – according to Oniichan – and she was never going to see me again because when she comes back, I won't be there anymore.

A trickle of tears slid down my cheeks silently. My vision became blurry, and my eye lashes – heavy and wet – flapped a little, with great difficulty, and the crystal-like droplets made their way down my cheeks, washing away one trial only to leave another. I let out a quiet sniff but I did not bother to wipe away the tears. I just sat there on the hard wooden bench-like seat, with my knees tugged close to my chest and my arms wrapped around them, curling into a spherical shape. The view of the dirty window became blurrier than before, to an extent that all I could see were smudged green colors that once was a tree's leaves and brown, which I speculated to be the barren land of the abandoned country side. The world around me was slowly fading away, into nothingness. It was then I realized something, I was alone in this world, I was unimportant. I had no one. Mother had left me and went somewhere I didn't know of. Father had abandoned me and gave me away to this mean-looking, snoring man who always wore that annoying cruel smile on his face. Oniichan and Oneechan didn't stop father from giving me away. In fact, they just sat there in the kitchen, emotionlessly and silent.

I had never felt any lonelier in my life than I felt at the moment. It was as if I've being awakened from a pleasant dream and brought into the harsh world of reality. I felt I had been dragged out of the warm blanket which had always provided me some sort of protection and warmth and thrown into the brutal, cold world where I must learn to survive on my own. And all I could think of at the time was how I was suppose get my way through without any love, without a sense of direction, without any guidance, without any friends, without my family, but with a bitter feeling of deception and of betrayal. More tears started to fall as I dwelled on the feeling. The droplets rolled down my cheeks like non-stop. I hugged my legs closer to my chest, attempting to curl into a smaller ball and seeking the only faint warmth I had. The pain tugged in my small heart as I sat there with my face buried into the cotton shirt that I was wearing which served as a dress as well. I could still smell the fresh strawberry scent on it that was now nothing but a fast diminishing memory of my past, because I was going to Kyoto, a place I had only heard about before from my mother when we sat on the porch and when she told me stories about the glorious world that we live in, however, to me, Kyoto was nothing but a vague foreign land that I'd rather avoid.

My eyelid felt very heavy suddenly, and I couldn't help but let my mind slowly shut down and drift to a world where thing would go my way and where I could change things however I want; a world where I didn't have to face the cruel reality; where I could still live in our small house and watch my mother and father and my siblings work on the farm that we cherished so much. And the strawberries… With these content thoughts in mind, I almost convinced myself that none of these horrible things had ever happened to me. Surrounded by the noises made from the movement of the train, and the loud snores of Arai-san, I fell into a deep slumber. Like a fragile child lost in a world she knew nothing of, I slept with my own arms wrapped around my small body because I knew I must learn to depend on myself now.

……

"Oi wake up little girl! I didn't go through all the trouble to bring you here just to let you sleep you know!" The harsh, hoarse voice with a touch of anger and impatience shook me out of the deep slumber. And following that command, I felt a sharp pain shot up from my left arm and snapped my eyes open as I yelped painfully. Arai-san's round, flushed face came into view. His small eyes squinted as he let out a rough grunt. I rubbed my arm where he had pinched me and felt my tears swelling up in my eyelids again. I tried to keep quiet but I heard myself whimper slightly, it was as if my body was out of my control and it did whatever it felt like doing. I received another glare from Arai-san which hinted me to shut up, I fought back the sob that was threatening to come out.

"Now you listen to me you stupid girl. Cry again when I've already told you to shut up, you'll get yourself a beat, you hear me?" He grabbed me by my elbow, bent down to my eye level and hissed the words out. There was a deadly serious look in his tiny eyes that revealed every intention of fulfilling that promise he just made. "I am an impatient man but if you listen to me and do as I say, I will take you to the okiya where you'll have a chance to live. But if you annoy me enough I'll send you straight to the whore-house where you'll work at a slave and die from starvation, understood!" I nodded meekly; the tears were threatening to spill out of my eyes but I managed to hold in the sniff and fight off the tears and make sure they wouldn't slip out. At the time I didn't really know what he meant by a whore house, or what the word okiya meant, but I presumed that neither one of them was good, but at least I will have a chance to survive in the okiya whereas in the "whorehouse", I will die.

"Good. I'm glad you've understood the terms outlined here." He gave me a pat on the head which turned out to be a smack on the head and composed himself again. "I didn't think you were dumb, or else I wouldn't even have brought you here." It sounded like he was more talking to himself than to me, but I guess I should have taken it as a compliment. Although I was in no state of feeling joyous at the comment he made about me not being dumb. I wanted to cry, to run away, but there wasn't anywhere I could escape to. I was trapped in this unfamiliar surrounding. Deciding there was no use, I turned to face the window again. Te sun had gone up and it was shining brightly above us. Mother had taught me how to determine the time according to the way the shadows were. And I assumed that it was already noon, if not, in the afternoon.

I was taken away from my house first thing in the morning, before the sun even had the chance to show its face. Countless hours had probably already passed by, and I wasn't given anything to eat or drink, not that I minded anyway. I was too dreadful in the moment to even worry about my hunger, until I smelled the scent of the freshly made rice balls from Arai-san. Turning my head slightly so I could steal a glance at him from the corner of my eyes, I saw him stuffing a rice ball into his mouth which was now the size of an apple. Gulping, I refused to let my mind ponder on the matter of eating. Mother had taught me how to resist temptations before. Just ignore the smell and concentrate your thoughts on something else. I reminded myself. I returned my attention to the outside of the window, and the trees and barren land were disappearing, and groups of houses started to form.

"We'll be getting off in another hour." Arai-san muffled as he noticed me staring at the outside. I felt his weight shifting on the wooden bench-like seat we were sitting on and heard another grunt from him. "I'm going to take a nap before we get off, and you better stay exactly where you are. If you dare to pull any tricks on me and escape, I will make sure you'll be as dead as the road kills in Kyoto." Arai-san warned me dangerously before closing his small, pig-like eyes. I waited for him to fall asleep, and after hearing his snores, I felt the weight on my chest lifting and let the tears that I fought back bravely earlier to fall. I sobbed quietly in my hands and let my mind replay the memories of mother and the happiness I felt when I was in her arms.

……

"Get up, get up, we're in Kyoto now!" I was awakened by another hard shove and looked up and saw Arai-san already standing with his suitcase in hand. He wiggled a little in his silky blue kimono which looked like it was forced onto him. Due to his large size, the kimono appeared to be tightly wrapped around him and make him appear bulkier than he actually was. I got up and felt the train slowing down. The station came into view slowly and I saw crowds of people in colorful kimonos that I had never seen before. My eyes widened at the new world before me and couldn't help but become slightly fascinated by the way the modern station appeared and the passengers dressed fancily and their strange hairstyles. Back in the village I lived in, people rarely dressed this nice and complex. Mother used to say to me that people who work hard and earn their living by hands dress very simple to make it easier for them to work on the fields, and that only rich people who did not do any work at all wrap themselves in layers of silk.

"What are you looking at? There's nothing for you stare at here." I felt his tight grip on my elbow again and I couldn't help but winced in pain. He dragged me out of the tiny space and through the crowds of people who were getting off at Kyoto station as well. I couldn't see where I was going most of the time because my face was either pressed against someone's bag or someone's butt since I was rather small and short at the time. After what felt like an eternity of no air, I felt extremely relieved as the cool breeze caressed my face and rustled my messy auburn hair. For a moment there, I really thought I was going to die from a lack of air but somehow, I had miraculously survived and got off the train with Arai-san holding tightly onto my elbow. My lungs welcomed in the sweet fresh air and I took another deep breath before Arai-san started to dragging me again.

The air smelled very different from the air back in my little village. The air carried a distinctive fresh strawberry scent, whereas the air in Kyoto had a smoke like odor, touched by a faint gasoline smell – not that I knew what gasoline smelled back then. To me, it was just a foreign air which reminded me of the emptiness I felt when I was taken away from my home this morning.

"Move along." I heard Arai-san's order and fastened my pace. The part of my arm that he was holding felt numb to me, due to his strong grip on it, which I was almost certain, was bruising badly. But I knew, if I yelped in pain or cried out or made any sound in fact, he will give me a good beat and send me off to somewhere else where I will suffer more. Instead, I followed him quietly, without speaking a word, as if I was a dumb who was unable to speak. He led me out of the grand exit of the station where I saw more people hurrying toward their destinations with their bags. A few rickshaws came into view as we strode out of the station itself. The drivers slouched lazily on the sidewalk with their rickshaws beside them. A fair number of them rushed to us and asked Arai-san if we needed a ride.

After a few minutes of bargaining with the drivers, Arai-san finally picked the one who offered him the cheapest price and shoveled me onto the nearby rickshaw. As soon as I landed onto the seat, Arai-san got on as well, but with great difficulties and seated himself beside me. I felt the seat slanting to his side as he settled his heavy weight on it. It started moving and was heading toward the wide street, with automobiles passing by, striding off toward somewhere I didn't know. I was astonished by the sight of modern, slightly bulky cars as I had never seen them before in the village I lived in. I had seen photographs of them but never one in real life. The only automobile I had ever seen was an unattractive, dirt-covered truck that was there to pick up our strawberries and transport them to the cities.

The large stores along the street had all different kind of things, ranging from kimonos to groceries and to accessories. I gawked at the ladies in pretty kimonos on the sidewalk, picking out the kind of ornamentation they wanted. And there were also men in clothes that didn't look Japanese at all. In fact they looked like something the foreigners from western countries would wear, which I later on learned they were called "suits".

Kyoto seemed like a whole new world to me, and nothing here resembled anything from the village I came from. The tall buildings; the factories that were emitting dark smokes into the sky, the chimneys rising slowly and diffusing into the air; the cars racing down the streets; the beautiful ladies in brilliantly made kimonos; the men in western clothing; the hakujin (white people); and the stores that lined up on the sides of the street – all those things fascinated me at great degrees, for a moment there, I nearly forgot about the bitter and lonely feelings I felt on the train. "Where are we going?" I couldn't help but question it out loud. It was probably the first thing I had said in the past several hours. I never kept counts anyway.

"To the okiya, your new home." Arai-san replied, without looking at me. His small eyes were firmly set upon the road ahead. I turned away and fell silent again. Soon, we turned onto an avenue that was even broader than the one we just passed, and I heard a loud screech which turned out to be a streetcar stopping by to pick up new passengers, and there were countless number of people lining up to get on. There were bicycles on the side as well -- on the lane beside the cars. I thought the riders of those funny looking bicycles were like trained circus people who knew how to balance themselves on two wheels.

The rickshaw took another turn and this time down a smaller alleyway of wooden houses. The houses all looked alike, and were tightly packed together, but they lacked a certain lively spirit that most houses in our village had and this send a cold feeling down my veins and made by stomach turn upside down. I couldn't help but tighten my grip on the handle of the seat that I was sitting on and allowed the uneasiness settle in me. I then saw women in kimonos rushing around on the little street. A few of them had their face painted ghostly white as if someone had spilled flour on them, and those women wore elegantly beautiful kimonos that I had never seen. The other wore plainer kimonos and no make up, but their clothing was still very elegant to me since all I had wore before were cotton shirts that were long up to my knees. As I later on learned, the plainer looking ones were maids and the ones in beautiful kimonos were actually geishas, the type or woman I was going to become.

We came to a stop in front of one of the houses and Arai-san pushed me off the rickshaw. I fell forward but managed to regain my balance and prevented myself from falling onto the dirty road. He paid the driver of the rickshaw and the driver hurried off to catch new customers. Arai-san pushed me forward until I nearly bumped into the large wooden door of the house and then he raised a hand to knock loudly, which sounded like banging to me. A few moments later, I heard indistinctive footsteps which grew louder as the person came closer. And then, the red wooden door swung open, revealing a middle-aged women in a dark blue kimono with lily shaped flower petals attached across it. My eyes widened at the beauty of the kimono, but the woman wasn't all that beautifully looking as a few of the geishas I had encountered on the streets, but she had a pleasant motherly aura around her.

"Ahh what a pleasant surprise Arai-san!" The woman exclaimed, her lips curling into a wide smile. "I didn't think you would be able to make it today." She greeted him with a little bow. Arai-san grinned back lazily and merely leaned forward as his return of her bow.

"Maa (well yah). You know I'm a busy man, and today's the only day I can come here myself and drop off this thing." Arai-san eyed me and titled his chin upward as he wiggled uncomfortably in his kimono.

"Of course, of course." She acknowledged half-heartedly, there was a slight lack of interest in her voice hidden under all the formality. It was then I felt her eyes settling upon me. My face grew hotter and I couldn't help but lower my gaze to avoid her eyes as she observed my face with great interest. "Oh my, is she the one you were talking about on the phone the other day?" The woman reached out a hand and picked up my chin, forcing me to look at her. Her hazel colored eyes widened as my eyes met hers in an awkward stare. "Goodness…such brilliant green eyes. Remind me so much of emeralds." She commented as she turned my head to the right and then to the left and inspected me in the same way Arai-san did at my house, but she was much gentler to me than he had been.

"Hmm…pretty nose, nice lips, and a lovely face." She murmured as her eyes studied my face carefully. "With a bath and a kimono, she'll look very fine. And my…such a round head, she's very clever too." The woman let go of my chin and turned to Arai-san again with the same smile on her face. "She has potentials Arai-san, and you'll make plenty of yens out of her when she becomes a geisha. After all, you were the one who had discovered her and brought her to us."

Arai-san's grin widened and I could see the greediness flashing in his small pig-like eyes. He let out a laugh and replied. "I hope so too. I'll just leave the training work to you and hopefully you'll be able to turn this filthy girl into something more elegant, like your head geisha." Giving me a rough shovel on the back, he pushed me into the woman and said. "Anyway, she's all yours now and I'm gonna go head back to my hotel and get ready to make my trip back. I don't trust those idiots at my factory. I'd better get back before they do something stupid and damaging to my business." Grumbling, his thick eyebrows furrowed, meeting each other in the center as he rubbed his palms together.

"Good day Arai-san!" The woman waved politely after Arai-san as he headed off to catch another rickshaw. She then diverted her attention back to me and smiled gently. "So tell me little girl, what is your name?" She asked in a very kind tone, her eyes had a pleasant glow that reminded me of my mother. I didn't reply at first since I wasn't sure if I could trust her. After all, Arai-san did make the okiya sound terrible, and I didn't want to get hurt again or get sold off to somewhere else. Mother once taught me that silence is the best way of protecting one's self, if you remained silent all the times, people would not be able to tell what you're thinking and therefore they cannot hurt you without thinking a second thought.

One of her hand went into her other sleeve and I instantly jerked away from her, as natural survival instincts kicked in. I suspected her taking something out to hurt me for not replying to her question. But instead, she took out a white handkerchief with small flowers spread across it. "Don't be afraid. I know this is a new place for you and you probably miss your parents. But this is your new home now and you've got to learn how to adapt." The kindness of her words caused tears to swell up in my eyes again. Those were probably the kindest thing someone had said to me the whole day and I couldn't help but feel miserable again. Her right hand touched my cheek and held it there where her other hand wiped the dirt and tearstains from before off my face, as well as the tears that were forming in my eyes.

I cried hard against the white handkerchief, soaking it wet with salty fears. I had never felt so miserable in my entire life and sight of her kind face just seemed to have brought out all the sorrow I had been bottling up in my small heart. I thought she would get mad at me for crying like that in front of her since she was merely a stranger I just met, but she didn't and allowed me to let out all my pains and sadness. "It's alright…it's alright…" She muttered softly as her other hand stroked my hair. "Just let it all out, let it out…" The words sounded like a repetitive melody, echoing in my ears and casting a spell on me that eventually slowed down my rough sobs. My shoulder stopped trembling and I looked up at her through tearful eyes which distorted her image just slightly while sniffling.

"You can call me Auntie, and don't cry. You won't be beautiful anymore if you're sad." She whispered gently and smiled again as she passed the handkerchief to me. "Here, take it, Mother doesn't like it when girls cry in front of her, and you must dry your face up before you meet her." Auntie advised me and took my hand into hers as she led me into the house. Her hand felt warm, and reminded me of my mother's hand, but hers was less rough. When she mentioned mother, I thought she was going to take me to her mother, whom I assumed must be very old since Auntie was a middle-aged woman herself. I took a quick glimpse at her as we walked down the darkened corridor. Her ink colored hair was woven into a tight not, and held in place with a pin of some sort. She had lines around the corners of her hazel eyes, but her face was pale and slightly yellowish. However her eyes, revealed nothing but kindness and understanding.

We soon reached the end of the corridor and a beautiful courtyard came into view. On right side, there was a large cherry blossom tree and beside it was an ancient well. A maid in blue cotton kimono had her body tilted forward, to lean closer to the well. Her sleeves were pinned up so they wouldn't get to her way. She appeared to be pulling something out of the well. When she heard our footsteps, she turned around and bowed respectfully at Auntie and Auntie returned her bow with a little nod of acknowledgement. It was then I realized something, this place was covered by a thick layer of formality and demanded good manners silently. The entire courtyard had a mossy look, with small trees on the sides and beautiful flowers and other exotic plants planted along the stepping stones trail that eventually led us to the storehouse in the back. A disgusting odor of human excretes invaded my nostrils and I couldn't help but held my breath, hoping it would block away the disgustful smell.

The structures of the okiya was beautiful, reminded me of the fancy bathhouse in our village that only a few people could afford going into. I had never been in there before, but I had passed by it a few times, and each time I walked by it, I would slow down my pace and take a good look at it. And now, I was seeing a house similar to that up close and actually being its courtyard, the feeling was rather strange. My eyes traveled along the house's side, a ramp of polished wood running along the side of the house, which I later on learned was not for servants. Servants had their own dirty corridor to walk through. Along the side of the roof, especially on the edge of it, were occupied by small sculptures of dragons and phoenixes. I've never seen anything so captive before. The wooden sculptures of the dragons appeared to be so lively, for a moment there one would've mistaken it as real at first glance.

The entire okiya was decided into various sections and structures, the plainly looking ones with the odor of dirt and excretion was for servants of the house, and fancy, elegantly looking rooms shielded behind the wooden sliding doors covered with paper screens were for the family of the house. There were even separate toilets – one for the upper family and one for the maids and servants. I had yet to learn that what they called a family, wasn't really a family, in fact, the mother Auntie had mentioned earlier was the owner of the house. She and the head geisha of the okiya, whom I yet to had met, were considered as the upper family of the okiya, the rest of us, including Auntie, were considered as the lower family. But Auntie was in charged of the maids and the errands and had a higher status in the okiya than the rest of us.

We passed another section of the large house and my mind pondered where Auntie was taking me to. She mentioned earlier about mother, but I wasn't sure if that was where I was going. Either way, I let Auntie lead the way and followed her closely. The meandering trail created by countless stepping stones finally brought us to the main house. I gawked at its elegancy and brilliance. It was like a golden palace to my eyes, since I had rarely seen anything so grand and magnificent as such before. It was then Auntie hauled me to a stop. The sudden movement made me fall backward. I felt myself being spin to a different direction, within seconds, before I could even make some senses out of it, I found myself staring into Auntie's eyes. She had a rather serious look, the soft smile form before disappeared from her face without a trace, replaced by a more pensive one.

"Now listen little girl. The last time a girl came to meet Mother, she was sent away right away because mother found her plain and didn't like her very much. Now you wouldn't want that to happen. Trust me, life might be hard here in the okiya, but it is better than off the streets. You would want her to keep you if you want to continue to live. I don't have much saying in the decision making of to keep you or no. You're lovely but you must somehow impress mother because she had seen many lovely girls in her life and she only liked a few of them." Auntie informed me, her eyes boring into mine. She looked at me meaningfully as if she was trying to pass a deeper message to me through the brief eye contact we had which lasted only about a few seconds.

"What am I supposed to do here?" I asked, unaware that I had spoken again when I was supposed to keep silent to protect myself from the unknown surroundings, but my childish curiosity always got to the best of me.

"If mother likes you and allows you to stay here, you will work as a maid until she sign you up for geisha lessons. There are a lot of papers to go through, but that doesn't concern you. Your job is to be obedient as possible and don't ask questions, and work very, VERY hard to become a geisha, because that is the only way for you to live a better life than now. But for now, just bow as low as possible, do not speak or answer any of the questions thrown at your way. I will answer those for you. However that is all I can do for you. It is up to you to make Mother notice your uniqueness and your brilliance and the potential you have to become a successful geisha. Understand?" I nodded silently as an indication that I had fully comprehended the terms outlined before me. Though I didn't quiet understand the kind of figure mother was, but I knew that she was the most powerful woman in the house, even Auntie had to listen to her.

Auntie smiled at me again and exerted a force on my back and urged me to move forward. I did so and took off my dirty shoes the way Auntie did with her wooden slippers. I watched her place them neatly on the stone staircase that led us to the entrance of the main house and did the same thing myself. As I stepped onto the cold well-polished wooden ramp that extended out of the house, my bare foot squirmed a little at the coldness that came into contact. This time Auntie walked in front of me and led me through the door and down the darkened corridor. I felt as nervous as ever and inside my head, Auntie's words rang. I didn't fully understand the reason behind it all, but I was certain of one thing, if mother didn't like me, she'll kick me out and round me up and feed me to the street dogs – that was what my childish mind interpreted as an unfortunate event.

We stopped before a room down the corridor and through the thick paper covered sliding doors, I could make out a faint light illuminating the room before me. Auntie kneeled down, her fingers grabbing onto the handle that curved inward into the wooden frame of the sliding down and pushed it to her right side with little difficulty. As the door slid open, a woman who was roughly the same age as Auntie was revealed. She wore a red kimono with white flowery patterns on it, and I could tell, the fabric of it was woven of fine silk, and I assumed it had to be very expensive. She was seated on a comfortable tatami pad and in front of a small tea table, her hands were cupped around the porcelain tea cup and I could see the steam rising from the warm liquid in it.

"Mother, the new girl recommended by Arai-san's here." Auntie bowed at Mother first and pointed at me. Her eyes gave me the flicker of bend down and bow. I jumped a little and remembered the reason of my being there. I nearly forgot about the things Auntie told me to do and not to do before we entered the main house. Feeling the warmth crawling toward my cheeks, I bowed as low as I could and kept silent as Auntie had taught me to, I felt utterly embarrassed for freezing there and staring at mother so openly like that. I heard a faint fabric rustling sound and speculated that mother was rotating her body around so she was facing us. I didn't dare to look up, so instead, I kept my eyes on the floor, as if they were the most fascinating thing on earth.

"Get up and come closer, I want to see your face." I heard mother's raspy voice. A sudden hesitancy restrained me from moving forward, I tilted my head slightly so I could see Auntie and my eyes begged her for her advice. "I thought I told you to come closer. Are you testing my patience little girl?" This time the demand sounded a lot harsher than before, causing me to whimper a little but Auntie gave me an encouraging push, hinting I should move forward now. I stood up and slowly made my way across the room. Every movement of mine seemed to be extremely visible and loud and was accompanied by quiet yet sharp squeaks.

I stopped as the strong lavender scent grew stronger. I suspected that to be from the perfume mother was wearing. I bent down again, keeping my head low and bowing to her politely, showing my respect. But her rough hands grabbed my chin and pulled it forcefully upward, a sharp pain sparked down my nerves, drawing out a quiet squeal from me. My eyes met hers, there was something about her cold raven colored eyes that sent shivers down my spine, and paralyzing every part of my body. I felt my self control slipping away, replaced by an overwhelming fear and urgency to escape her piercing gaze.

I stared directly into her eyes and I saw the black pupils widening, her jaws dropped just slightly, but the difference was very significant – at least to me. Mother had a quiet round face, her skin tinged slightly yellow and sagging around the corners of her eyes and on the bottom of her chin which made her look older than Auntie. Her mouth was small, and parted, they were dyed scarlet red, which I thought matched her outfit perfectly. "Such lovely green eyes." She gasped, scrutinizing at my eyes with her own peculiar ones. I could see the orbs sparkling with astonishment, but I dared not to say anything as Auntie had told me before.

"Aren't they? That's what I thought at first too, when I met her at the door. She seems like such a lovely and clever girl, and I think she'll adapt to the life here just fine. And look at the size of her forehead!" Auntie commented, pointing at my head. Her voice was slightly pitched and excited, as if she was selling me to someone and they liked what they were seeing.

Mother continued to study my face, her gaze then traveled to my nose and my lips and then the sides of my face as she turned it to the right then left. Inside my head, I wondered why all the people I had met so far liked to inspect me as if I was some kind of product, some kind of meat they were buying. "She has such lovely structure and delicate features that further enhance the beauty of her eyes." Mother added, her index finger tracing the shape of my lips and then nose. Her touch was rougher than Auntie's and lacked that certain motherly gentleness that Auntie had, causing me to yank backward to get away from her fingers. It was something I shouldn't have done, but I just couldn't control my movement.

Mother frowned, displeased with what I had done, and held my chin tightly once again. "Listen little girl, you're going to learn to be very obedient in this house, because I am in charge here, and if I see you doing anything that displeases me. I will throw you out. I don't intend to keep people who don't understand my orders around. I like the okiya to be organized and orderly. If you cause any disturbance, I will kick you out and leave you on the streets to starve to death." She paused for a moment, letting the words to seep through my skulls and went on. "You're in Kyoto now, not some little village you used to live in. I'm not interested in knowing your name or where you are from, or what you have done in the past. From now on, you're going to work hard, very hard, and please me by showing me that you're not so useless after all."

"Don't leave the okiya without my permission. Don't wander around in the courtyard either. You will be assigned chores and work tomorrow, and what you will do – that I will leave it up to Auntie to decide. If you learn to stay out of trouble and be very quiet and obedient, you will be able to start your geisha lessons in two or three months. But if you are not and does something that annoys me, you'll never become a geisha. If you think you can stay here as a maid, well think again, I've got plenty of maids working for me there, and I don't need anymore of them." Mother averted her attention to Auntie for a brief moment, and then returned her gaze to me to see my nod. I nodded as she had expected and she allowed herself to smile a bit.

"Here in the okiya, people gets punished for getting into troubles. I'm usually the one giving out the beatings here, so you'll be very sorry if you ever do anything wrong because I will make sure it's going to be your last time doing anything bad in your entire life you understand? Sometimes Auntie will give out beatings, but she is far to kind to you filthy little girls who do not understand anything I say." Mother looked at me hard for another moment and decided it was time to end the lecture on the rules of the okiya.

"Auntie, could you please get her into something clean and check if she has any lice? While you're doing that, take her to the servant's room and show her around so she doesn't get lost while doing chores tomorrow. I don't have to time to launch a search party to look for her." Instructed Mother and Auntie gave her a nod and then a little bow.

"Come along little girl." Auntie stood up gracefully and picked me up from the floor as well and pushed my head downward to bow to Mother once again. With that, we slowly backed out of the room, our heads lowered and front facing Mother. It was the way lower class women exited the room. Traditionally, their backs had to be facing the exit but their front will always be facing the person with a higher status. It was how the geishas exited the rooms occupied by the most powerful men – as I later on learned from my geisha mentor.

I waited patiently for Auntie to slide the door close and I saw her letting out a small sigh. "Come on, I'll take you to the servant's room and you can take a bath there and clean out any lice you have." She got up from her knees again and straightened out her kimono and went ahead of me, while her hand signaling me to follow her. I did as I was told to and she led me out of the darkened corridor and out to the courtyard once more. A heavy dreary feeling settled in my small heart and I couldn't help but wonder the sort of life I would have here at the okiya. Tears pooled in my eyes before I could think of a way to stop them, and I felt miserable as I remembered my own mother while the images of my new mother flashed in my mind. I sniffled quietly and set my eyes upon Auntie's kimono and watched how the ends fluttered as she walked. With my vision glazed, the ends of her kimono slowly blurred into a lighter shade of blue.

She suddenly came to a stop and swiveled around elegantly, "Don't cry little girl. As long as you do what mother tells you to do, you'll be fine. Your goal was to impress her, and you've accomplished it quite well. Be proud of yourself. You're a clever girl and will make a fine geisha." Once again, her kind words drove away part of my misery and I really felt safe around her. She took me by my hand and smiled as we left the corridor.

As we departed the main house, my ears picked up an indistinctive singing voice, but it was faint and beautiful, probably the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. I couldn't make out the lyrics well, but as we continued down the path, it grew clearer and louder. The ballad sounded extremely familiar to me, it reminded me of the song mother used to hum to me when I was little, but I never heard of the lyrics it since all mother did was humming the tune. I listened hard and tried to catch the words, but all my sharp ears caught were a few phrases. "Tachidomaru jikan ga… Ugoki-dasou to shite 'ru… Wasuretaku nai koto bakari…" My pace was slowed down and my hand slipped away from Auntie's, and eventually, I came into a stop without realizing I had done so. I felt I was enchanted by the angelic voice and my body seemed to have grown a mind of its own. It moved without any of my controls.

I stopped just in front of the opened room at the end of the okiya, and I could tell that the singing came from that particular room. Unaware of my own actions, I trailed away from the stone road and approached the opened paper sliding door and eventually reached it. There, I saw a girl around my age with long raven hair sitting on the floor, in the center of the room, her composure was graceful and her back was perfectly straight. I couldn't see her kimono very well because of the dimly light, but my keen eyes caught a glimpse of blue fabric with some sort of white petal-like designs on it. Her hair scattered onto her back and the ends were tied loosely by a faint violet ribbon that really stood out from its surrounding. I simply gazed at her and inwardly admiring her beauty and gracefulness.

"Do you like the song?" Auntie suddenly asked me, snapping me out of my own thoughts. I nearly jumped when I heard her voice behind me. Startled, I looked at her with widened eyes, but she merely smiled at me. "Doesn't she have the most beautiful voice ever?" Auntie asked me again. I turned to study the girl once again but this time with greater carefulness, and nodded.

"Tomoyo-chan!" Auntie called out, and I saw the girl turning to our way. My mouth formed an "o" shape and my eyes widened with shock, amazed by how beautiful her face was. Her eyes were the colors of amethyst, yet there they lacked the shine I see in other people's eyes – they were rather dull in comparison. But she had an oval shaped face, and creamy skin which brought out her delicate features.

"Okaasan?" She inquired, her tone of voice soft and velvety, full of child-like innocence. It sounded as if she was singing the words out instead of speaking them. "Is that you?" She questioned, and then fell silent again as she tried to concentrate on something. "Is someone there with you?" I stepped back a little as her looked at my way. I could feel my heart pounding rapidly, and my face burning up -- nervous to meet her eyes. I lowered my gaze and let the sudden inrush of unworthiness enter my heart, I felt extremely filthy and ungraceful compared to her.

"Hai, it's me, and here's someone with me. She appears to be the same age as you Tomoyo." Auntie responded, but this time, her tone seemed to have softened greatly and she had a sad yet loving look in her eyes. It was then I felt Auntie's hand settling upon my shoulder. "Do you want to go introduce yourself to her?" She whispered softly, her breath tickling my ears. I froze on the spot, unsure of what to do. A part of me wanted to, but I suddenly remembered what this place was and how I was sold off to where I was, I hesitated and did not move. However Auntie gave me a little jostle and caused me to step forward.

Tomoyo smiled at my way. "I'm Tomoyo. Anata wa?" Her head cocked to the right, waiting patiently for my answer. A great hesitancy showed on my face as I tried to make up my mind. I thought it was quiet obvious, but she didn't seem to notice it.

"Sakura…desu…" I answered quietly, letting the syllables flow out of my mouth.

I saw her smile widening, "such a beautiful name... and you have a sweet voice…you must be very lovely." The compliment was accompanied by another friendly smile, all the dreary feelings I had earlier seemed to have been melted by the friendliness she had offered me. At that time, I didn't know she was going to be the best friend I'd ever had and someone who would stay by my side throughout the tough times during our geisha years. Another thing I didn't know of back then was her blindness – Tomoyo couldn't see. But at that moment, I didn't know. I returned her smile and letting my contentment shown, just for that brief moment, I allowed myself to relax in the unfamiliar surroundings.

_It was the beginning of my new life at the Okiya…

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a/n: Alright, that was a veryyy long chapter. But like I've mentioned above, I'm going to try to make this fanfiction into some sort of short novel. The future chapters will be around this length as well – at least that's what this fanfic appears to be heading toward, but then again, I might change my mind later on and decide it's too much of a challenge for me. Syaoran will be introduced in the next chapter and you'll see how him and Sakura are going to meet before Sakura became a geisha. Keep on reviewing everyone and hopefully I'll get the next chapter up next weekend! XD

**IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you want to be notifyed when I update this story again, or in fact, any of my stories, please go to my profile page where you'll see the link of my fanfic notify list. Sign yourself up and I will email you the link of the new chaps once I update it! **

This story is a bit hard to write, since there are a lot of historical facts and all, and I don't want to make up random things as I go along. Back in the 1900s, okiya were run by women, and those owners were often referred to as Mother or Auntie, but they were not blood-related. They were just called that and I have no clue why. Also, I'm not really sure how the okiya should look like, so my description about it is relatively vague, and the same goes to the kimonos. So I apologize for the lack of detailed descriptions there.

**Liked it? Hated it? Let me know what you thought of this chapter (other than the part that it's too long XD). Review minna-san! Thanks!**

**Reviews appreciated. Flames ignored. Constructive criticisms considered. **


	3. Burning Ambers

**Withered Petals  
**_By: Aisaki Sumi_

**Important Notice: I'm planning to write TEN S+S drabbles for my lovely reviewers out there as my present for you guys for X-mas. The main them of these drabbles will be Christmas. I'm still taking requests, so if you're interested in requesting a drabble, leave a REVIEW or COMMENT on my Fic-journal. The last day to request is tomorrow, so if you're interested, request now and that drabble will be written and dedicated to you. **

**_Chapter dedicated to all those who had taken the time to review this story and those who had added this story to their favorite list! (Hugs you all)_**

a/n: Once again, I apologize profusely for the previous lengthy boring chapter. Even I got bored scanning through it last night to get a sense of where the story had left off. Romance is not the only element in this story. There will be plenty of romance but also other things such as friendships, Sakura's development in trusting people as you probably have noticed she rarely talks, her life as a geisha before meeting Syaoran in their adulthood, war, prejudice, discrimination against women etc. So you've been warned once again. If you're a pure romance sucker and expect only Sakura x Syaoran fluffy romance in this story, well, I will have to advise you to turn around and read something else again. XD I'm actually quiet surprised by the number of people who are reading this angsty dramatic romance story XD. This is actually my favorite story so far, since it has all the things that I liked XD (yesh writing my other romantic comedy stories is a drag because I personally believe life doesn't work out that way.) You can expect a lot of updates from this story since it's my favorite so far XD. Enough with my babbling and on with the story!

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**Chapter 3 Burning Ambers**

Time passes by like the sands in the hourglass, forever slipping through the tiny hole and falling into the unfilled container. When the bottom glass is full again, someone would tip over the delicate and fragile balance, and flip the hourglass around. The cyclic motion of flipping and fulfilling govern the motion of the universe. I always thought there were external forces that kept things going whether it was chance or gods, or other supernatural things that people believed in. And this got me thinking from times to times… Perhaps my departure of the small village that I lived in was destined to happen; perhaps my mother was destined to leave me and allow someone else to take me away and bring me to a faraway land where things weren't simply governed by chance, but also by powerful men.

Weeks had gone by since my arrival at the Okiya and I had done nothing exciting so far but cleaning the okiya's floor, washing dirty clothes, mopping the courtyard and many other chores that I did back at home. The only difference between the chores I done back then and now were the loads of it, the amount of it. There were many maids in this okiya, but the work load was much more than we could handle.

The strangest thought struck me the other day when I realized that all people who worked at the okiya as either maids or cooks or guards were women. There were no males around, not even a single man was around to guard the entrance door. I recalled seeing an ouji-san sitting on the chair by the gates of our village when I was little. He was always there, and his dog would bark at any stranger coming through the gates. I sometimes would go there and pat him on the head, but I always got yelled at afterwards by oneechan for wondering off to disturb the ouji-san by the door and his dog.

My new life at the okiya was surprisingly busy. Everyday was filled with chores, and more chores. I rarely got anytime to explore the new place or find a quiet place for myself to think through things or watch the cloud patches drifting away with the gentle wind like I used to do everyday on the porch in front of my house. My old life seemed to be fading away, along with some of my childhood memories of the village that I used to call home. I never seemed to have enough time to think about my father's betrayal, my mother's sudden departure and her sickness. Sometimes in my sleep, I would let my mind ponder on these matters, such as if my mother had recovered from her sickness, or if father was planting new berries on our land, but before I could even dwell on those thoughts and memories, my brain shut down and took me to a fantasy land, where the fairies and beautiful princesses had lived. A land where such things as sorrow and bitter betrayals didn't exist, where its residents' lives were filled with enchanting music and contentments… With those thoughts filling my mind, I let the bitterness and lonely feelings fade away and become insignificant, just for the night.

I hadn't seen Tomoyo ever since our first encounter on my arrival day. She was never around doing chores with the rest of the maids, nor was she ever around helping out our cook, Shizuko-san. I let my curiosity take control of my mind again, wondering about all the possibilities of Tomoyo's being in here. Was she the head geisha of the okiya? The one Arai-san mentioned earlier? I didn't know, but to me, she appeared a bit too young to be the head geisha, since the pretty geishas in kimono I saw down the streets all appeared to be much older than her. I shrugged off the thought as I heard a yell, which came from the slightly opened door down the other end of the corridor that I was cleaning. "HAI!" I got up quickly and dashed for the call. The bucket of water dangling uncontrollably in my small hands, I saw water droplets flying out of the bucket and splashing themselves onto the well-polished floor. But I had no time to wipe them up as the voice grew more impatient.

"SAKURA! What's taking you so long!"

"Gomen!" I apologized while I carried the bucket with both of my hands and the dirty rug around my neck. This way I could be able to have both of my hands free and carry the heavy bucket of water. "Gomen." I mumbled quietly again as I arrived at the slightly opened sliding door with paper screens covering it. There I saw mother wearing a different kimono. It was a darker shade of red this time with beautiful sakura blossoms shrewd across the fine silky fabric that appeared to be glowing softly under the light. Mother made a rough grunt as she flipped the page of the newspaper she was reading. Mother was always interested in the news, especially the economics section – that was what Auntie told me the other day anyway. I didn't understand what economics meant back then, but I had my own way of interpreting it. I thought it had something to do with sounds, since it started with the sound 'eco', which I mistakenly thought was 'echo'.

"I told some maid to tell you to clean the floors of the upper level of the house moments ago, how come you're still here scrubbing this floor!" Mother asked impatiently, her raspy voice was sharper and higher pitched than usual, hinting the growing irritation in her. She always liked things being done her way. In the okiya, she was the law, and anything she ordered to do must be done or carried out within seconds. Auntie advised me to please mother as much as I could, but all I could do was making her angrier than before.

"Gomen nasai, mother." I didn't really know what to do then. All my dumbfounded brain could think of at the moment was to apologize. Those apologies were meant to cool down the boiling angers in mother, but they seemed to have forgotten their original purpose and did the contrary, which was to deepen the frown on mother's face.

"I don't even know why I have so many useless, filthy little girls in this okiya!" Mother snapped, her tone was harsh and cold as she flipped the page again, but this time, more roughly causing the paper to rustle louder than before. I flinched slightly, feeling the tears polling up in my eyelids. I was never informed on any other chores, nor had I ever come across any maids who were supposed to be mother's messenger. The entire thing felt unfair to me, as I had done nothing wrong, but merely following the instructions of Auntie's since she was in charge of the chores and of the maids. My vision blurred as the colors and patterns on mother's kimono became softer and lighter, and soon, I could no longer see the patterns of it. They appeared to be smudged colors and distorted image. But I made sure none of the droplets spilled out of my eyes since mother hated girls who cry. She made another grunt and snorted, I didn't know if it was directed to me or the newspaper she was reading.

I waited for a few minutes to see if she had anything else to instruct me before I leave, but she said nothing. I kept my eyes on the floor and they then traveled to my bare feet, they were dirty and had dried mud on the tips of my toes. I stood there by the door, with the water bucket still in my right hand. My arm was getting sorer as the time flowed by, to an extent that it felt numb and no longer mine, but mother hadn't give me the dismissal signal yet and I was afraid to get yelled at again for displeasing her. It was then her gruff voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "Why are you still here? I thought I told you go get out already! Now out of my sight before you piss me off even more!"

"H-hai!" I responded as I bowed as low as I could, like Auntie had taught me before and dashed out of the room as quickly as possible. A number of water droplets splashed out of the bucket when I was on my way out, but I paid no attention to those, I had to get to the second floor of the okiya and scrub clean the floors of that level before I get yelled at again. Shaky and stumbling, I was slowly losing my balance as I made my way down the dark corridor, but regained my balance as I stopped to look around to search for the staircase that would lead me to the upper levels. The okiya was similar to a maze that one could never get out. I slowed down my pace just slightly to let my keen eyes and memory to guide me to the right way.

I saw a long darkened staircase covered by a thin layer of dust. Sighing a little, I took the rug off my neck and soaked it in the bucket of water, only taking it out after it had absorbed all the water. I gave it a slight squeeze to get ride of the excess water and started scrubbing the dirty staircase one by one until I reached the top of it. I let out a relieved sigh as I wept off the sweat clutched onto my forehead and brushed aside the strands of auburn bangs that were getting into my eye. The back of my blue cotton kimono was soaked with sweat, I shifted uncomfortably in it but the discomfort was brushed aside as I looked around, studying my surrounding inquisitively. I had never been to the second level of the main house before, since the maids room was at the back of the okiya and on the ground level. The childish curiosity in me stirred as a sense of exploration excitement sparked down my nerves.

I picked up the bucket of water once again, with the now dirtied rug in the other hand as I slowly wandered down the corridor, passing by closed rooms. The paper screened doors lacked the soft glow I saw every time I entered mother's room. They appeared unoccupied by human presence. I continued down the ghostly quiet hallway, the only sounds I could hear were the squeaks made by the wooden floor, caused by the constant shifting of my own weight. I stopped by a room with some form of shadow cast upon paper screens of the wooden sliding doors. Pausing, I scrutinized at the shadow, and it appeared to be a human figure, a silhouette of a girl.

It was then my eyes discovered the little gap between the two parts of the sliding door that shielded the room closed. I tiptoed forward a few steps and stopped on track right at the little gap. I poked my head out, and leaned forward, bending my body and to form a "c" shape. There I caught a glimpse of the flicker of candle fire that looked like it was going to die out soon. The fire was pale orange, slightly blue at the center of the flame. It seemed to have cast a spell upon me as my eyes softened with the soft flow. I nearly forgot about the water bucket that I was holding. My arm was probably protesting to my brain while I was gazing at the candle fire, but my brain appeared to have ignored it and was too preoccupied with something else. As a result of the disagreement between the two, my arm reached it maximum capacity and dropped the water bucket.

A loud thump was created as a result of the water bucket, filled with dirty water, hitting the floor. I panicked and squeezed my eyes shut and prayed hard for some kind of miracle to happen, or at least, cancel out the fast spreading sound waves before it gets a chance to reach mother's ears, or anyone's ears in fact. "Who's there?" A sweet gentle voice called out. I opened my eyes and stared at the mess on the floor. I felt my heart bumping rapidly as if it was going to jump out of my chest. My fears overwhelmed me and took control of my body. I literally froze on the spot, panicking inwardly but refused to reply to the call.

"Who's there?" The music-like voice repeated. It seemed to be coming out of the room I just took a peek of, or more like, took a peek of the candle light. The voice was so soft and gentle, and sounded extremely familiar to my ears. I was sure that I had heard it somewhere before, but I just couldn't remember from where. Still in hiatus, my mind told me to stay where I was while my heart told me to come forth and clean up the mess and apologize to whoever was in the room sincerely.

"Go-gomen…" The apology flowed out of my mouth so naturally, before I even had the time to stop it. I heard a soft giggle from the room and my eyes widened. Utterly confused, I stepped forward, into the water to get closer to the gap to see who it was. I just made a mess and disturbed the peaceful transquility of the okiya. I expected some kind of scowling, or a beating for the trouble I had just caused. But instead, I earned myself a quiet childish giggle. I was confused and intrigued at the same time. A part of me wanted to slide open the door and see the owner of the giggle, yet a part of me felt unsure and was afraid.

"Ah, Sakura-chan desu ka?" The girl inquired after the giggles had been absorbed by the air. I was shocked at first. The only thing on my mind at the moment was, how did she know my name? How could she possibly have seen me with the door closed? Did she have some sort of magical power? My mind was bombarded with curious and childish questions. But before I could even search for the answers to my questions, the person from the other side of the sliding door spoke again. "You're probably wondering how I could tell ne? Saa, it's actually quite simple. I have very sharp ears, and your voice is very distinctive and I can recognize it easily. So come inside will you?"

I took another step forward but hesitated again. I really didn't know what was the wisest thing to do at the moment. What if I get into trouble again for entering the rooms on the second floor without mother's permission? I would get a beating for sure! But the quiet, velvety voice interrupted my thoughts again, assuring me that everything was alright. "It's alright, you can come in. I give you the permission to do so. It is my room after all." The sentence was ended with another giggle. The warmness of her words melted away the doubts in my heart and I finally pushed away the fear that was restraining me from moving forward.

I kneeled down to wipe the spilled water back into the bucket… somehow. After a few minutes of hard work, I managed to use the method of letting the rug absorb the water into itself which then allowed me to squeeze the water out into the bucket. Much of the water was gone now, there were still a few patches of water here and there, but majority was back to the bucket again, where it belonged. I wiped my dirty and wet hands on my apron and took a deep breath before pushing the door open. As the paper screens of the wooden door slid passed my eyes, more of the room was revealed, and eventually, the soft-spoken, mild mannered girl was revealed.

My eyes widened as I recognized who it was. "To-Tomoyo… chan?" I gasped, but she merely smiled at me. Her bright, heart-warming smile made my heart pound faster than before. She was beautiful, one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen in my entire life. Her beauty could rival the ones of those beautiful geishas' I saw on my way to the okiya. The kimono she was wearing was simple, but gorgeous, fully enhancing her natural beauty and the color of her eyes, which were the only part that was incompatible with the rest of her stunningly beautiful face. The pair of amethyst orbs were dull, and hallow, lacking a shine that could've made her glow even more brilliantly.

"Hai, who did you think I was?" She had a playful grin on her face as she turned around to face me, giving me a full view on her oval-shaped face.

"What took you so long to come in and say hi? 'Kaasan said you were going to come and play with me once you're done your chores, but you never dropped by, and I thought you weren't going to come visit me anymore." Her words faded into a bare whisper as her eyes saddened, the smile vanishing from her lips. A heavy weight seemed to have settled down in my heart as I saw her saddened expression. Even though I had done nothing wrong, other than spilling the water and peeking on her part, I felt an unexplainable guilt tugging in my small heart, and it had an apparent weight of a thousand tons.

"Gomen." I muttered softly. It seemed to be the only word I spoke of at the okiya and the only word I knew. Ever since I got here, I did nothing but apologize, even if I did nothing wrong. Auntie told me it was the way things were here in the okiya and that if I apologize often I could get myself out of a beating. An uncomfortable silence settled in the atmosphere again, stirring the uneasiness in me. I shifted uncomfortably and decided to say nothing. I didn't want to upset her again, and silence appeared to be a much better choice to me.

The ever-present smile returned to her face once again, immediately lightened up the room. "Daijoubu yo, you don't need to apologize to me. You've done nothing wrong. Just remember to come by and visit me whenever you get a chance. There aren't any girls around my age in this okiya. You're probably the first young girl here in a long while." Tomoyo explained as she settled her hands gracefully on her lap. I watched her elegant movements and felt the urge to do what she just did, so I could seem less like a peasant next to her.

"I rarely gets any visitors and spend most of my time in this room. Kaasan says it's not safe for me to wonder around the okiya on my own. I might bump into something and get hurt." Tomoyo went on, her eyes were now on the floor, unfocused, as if she didn't know what she was looking at. "It's all because I can't see." The last comment came out heavy and dreadful and I could feel my heart stopping for a few seconds. My mouth opened in surprise and studied her more carefully. No wonder her eyes were so dull and unfocused all the times. No wonder I rarely got to see her around doing work like the rest of us. No wonder she spent most of her times in a dimly lit room.

I heard of stories about people being blind from my mother when I was little. She called the ones who couldn't see poor souls. "It must be very lonely and scary for them to be constantly immersed in a world of darkness. They can't see normally like you and me Sakura. Just think about how your life might be if you can't see anything around you. You' can't see okaasan, or otousan, or your oneechan and oniichan." My mother words rang in my mind as I gazed at Tomoyo with watery eyes. I felt the tears swelling up in my eyes as the thought of Tomoyo suffering from an overwhelming loneliness entered my mind. There was also a sudden inrush of guilt into my heart.

How could I be complaining about my life when she had a more horrible life than me, and yet, did not even complain a word of it? God deprived her of her sight. She had never seen Auntie before, nor had she been able to see the friends she had in the past, or this beautiful okiya, or her own beauty. Her world was surrounded by an eternal darkness. The more I pondered on the matter, the worse I felt. "Go-gomen." I choked on my own words, the tears streamed down my cheeks, I was sad for her, and at the same time, disappointed and angry with myself, of the kind of baby I was. I should consider myself to be lucky comparing to her. When I was sulking in the corner, she was smiling brightly, as if she was enjoying what she had and what the world had offered her. Sometimes it is better to be thankful of the things you have, rather than sulking about the things you don't have.

"Don't cry Sakura-chan. It's alright. I'm used to it now. Don't feel bad." She murmured softly, comforting me. "Just come by and say hi to me more often. After all, kaasan did say we're friends, and friends should play with each other and keep each other in company ne?" Tomoyo cocked her head to the side and enlarged her smile. I sniffled and wiped the tears off my face with the sleeve of my kimono. I was really glad that I had met her. Even though my life was hard here at the okiya; even though I was abandoned by my family, I was still accepted by her. Though I wasn't fully opening myself up to her just yet, but I knew that we will one day become very good friends. I simply smiled back at her, filling my heart with the warmth offered by her. It had been a while since I felt this kind of contentment.

It was then someone's footsteps disturbed the pleasant tranquility that surrounded us, it sounded the person was slowly approaching Tomoyo's room. I turned my head around and looked over my shoulder to see who it was and I was astonished by what I saw. She was wearing a light pink kimono covered in beautiful white sakura petals, the material woven of fine silk was wrapped around her perfect body, displaying her feminine curves Even though there were layers of other silks underneath the outer kimono layer, she still looked light and delicate. The kimono fitted her perfectly and appeared to be a layer of her skin rather than decorative clothing. Unlike Mother or Arai-san who made the kimono seem heavy and a drag to wear, she made it appear lighter and more comfortable than it actually was.

Her raven black hair were smoothed into a popular geisha hair style at the time, and it was decorated by ornaments and beautiful hand made flowers that matched her kimono perfectly. Her face was oval-shaped, slightly pointy around the chin. It was covered by a layer of rich white powders that geishas had to wear, giving her a pale but beautiful appearance. Her scarlet red lips stood out the most, like the colors of blood splashed onto the white snow. And her cheeks were painted slightly rosy. My amazed eyes traveled up her face, stopping on the way to admire her delicate nose. It was small and had just the right steepness. But what shocked me the most were her eyes. They were the colors of deep cerulean. They appeared watery and beautiful, sparkling under the dim light. Her entire face was flawlessly beautiful, as if it was touched by the divine hands of the God. There was a small but elegant smile on her face. It wasn't as wide as a grin, nor was it like a friendly smile. It was just a small, simple, but extremely lovely smile.

"You must be the filthy new girl they got." Commented her rudely, but nonetheless, she had a sweet and beautiful voice. "I don't get why mother even bothers to buy disgusting things like you." Shaking her head slightly, she let out a small faked sigh as if she was truly disappointed.

"It must be nice to have another peasant like yourself to hang out with you," She turned to smile at Tomoyo, but there was something eerie and unfriendly about that smile that caused me to frown slightly. All I could think of at the moment was: how could someone so beautiful be so mean?

"After all, all you can do is sit here all day long and wait for that mother of yours to feed you and take care of you. I don't understand why mother still keeps you around. And I thought she was smart. Investing money in a useless, blind thing like you is truly wasteful." I stole a glance at Tomoyo from the corners of my eyes and saw the smile fading away, replaced by a mixture of emotions. Her lips were suppressed into a thin line. "Hmm, oh well I guess I'll just have to put up with you and your stupid new friend there for another few years since Auntie's still around. But once she's gone, the first one I'm going to kick out is you." She gave out a bitter laugh and then turned to face me.

"You there, peasant girl. Go fetch me some peaches, I want fresh and sweet ones. They seemed to have run out of it in the kitchen. Useless maids, they really don't know how to please the one who's making all the money here and feeding them. If I don't go to tea parties and entertain men, you people would be on the streets right now, begging for the half-eaten food that people thrown out in the garbage can." She tossed me a disdained look, as titled her head upward before, looking as beautiful and as conceded as ever.

"Here's some money and go. I don't like to wait around." She held her arm up and took out a few coins from the hidden pockets in her sleeves and thrown them at me. The coins bounced off the floor at first, making a nice cling sound and then rolled to my way, spinning around before they came into a stop.

"Take the money and go. Are you deaf or something?" I opened my mouth to dispute that but remembered what Auntie said about no talking back at the members of the upper family. I closed my mouth again, letting her continue on. "The fruits store is down the street. All you have to do is walk straight down from this avenue for half an hour or so to get it. Now go, I expect the peaches to arrive before dinner." With that, she swiveled around elegantly and walked off, leaving the bottom of her kimono fluttering behind her.

I picked up the coins and looked over at Tomoyo again, to seek some advices from her since she knew the okiya better than me. "Who was that person?" I questioned, keeping my voice low and quiet. My eyes were fixed on Tomoyo's face, watching her every moment like a cat observing someone of its interest. I saw her lowering her gaze to the floor for a brief moment before giving me a response.

"That's Nanako-san… the head geisha of this okiya."

The size of my eyes widened again, increasing to twice of its original shape. No wonder she looked so elegant and dazzling. I should have had been able to tell from the way she was dressed and the sort of make up she had applied to her flawless face. That was my first time meeting Nanako-san, her beautiful image was permanently imprinted onto my mind, but at the same time, I had a glimpse of the type of horrible person she was. It was ironic how someone so angelic and goddess-like lovely could be so ill-minded and mean.

"She never liked me because she thinks that Mother would adopt me instead of her and let me run the okiya after she is unable to do so. But as you have probably noticed, Nanako-san wants to become the new owner and become fully independent." Perplexed and puzzled by what Tomoyo was saying at the moment, I simply scratched my head in confusion and decided to think through it a bit later when I get a chance to. At this time, I didn't know how the okiya was operated, since I was only told to do follow instructions.

In my later on years, I learned that there was a head geisha in every okiya. They were the main source of the okiya's incomes. By doing so, they pay off their own debts and geisha lessons and their own medical bills. After all that, a large portion of their income went to the okiya to keep things running and they only receive a small portion of their own money made from going to tea parties and entertaining men. However, if the geisha was successful enough and charmed the most powerful men, someone would offer to be their danna, which meant a buyer. Their danna must pay for everything the geisha needs and for their company. Some of them would woe the geisha of their interest with expensive gifts such as jewelry or kimonos. I was yet to learn how this but I would soon be taught of that in my future geisha lessons.

"Ne Sakura-chan… you should get going now before she reports something horrible about you to mother that's not true and then you will be in big troubles." Tomoyo reminded kindly me and gave me a meek smile. I returned it with a small smile of my own before getting up and smoothing out the plain cotton fabric of my kimono like the way Tomoyo and Auntie did. I wanted to be elegant and graceful like them. I picked up the water bucket on the way and looked down at the floor making sure it was fully dried, and it was, much to my contentment. I tossed the rug into the bucket and tugged the coins safely into the sleeves of my kimono before exiting Tomoyo's room.

"Ja matte ne." I turned to bid my goodbye and added a little wave that I often did whenever I was saying good bye to someone. It was an old habit of mine that I kept with me throughout most of my life, until I was told to stop doing it. She smile pleasantly back at me even though she couldn't see where I was, but it made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

……

It was my first time out of the okiya since my arrival here at Kyoto and I once again, was taken back by the broad streets and the number of people hurrying passed me, and off to some unknown destinations of their own which wasn't important to me. For I, had somewhere to go myself instead of wandering aimlessly on the streets, even though I was only doing Nanako-san her errand, but it made me feel important, just like the rest of the adults rushing down the roads. Straightening my back, I smoothed out my kimono a bit and then my sleeves and then adjusted the simple obi I had around my waist. The kimono I was wearing wasn't half as beautiful as Nanako-san's, but it was the most elegant thing I had ever worn.

Meandering down the street while observing the stores that lined up on both sides of the road, each store had crowds of people coming in and out and the entire district looked so lively, as if a festival was taking place. I took the time to look around and allowed myself to become amazed by the simplest things, and tossed Nanako-san's words to the back of my head. I never had a good view of this part of the Gion district since I was dreading over the bitterness I felt from the betrayal when I was on my way here, but now, for some strange reasons, I felt less bothered by it. Maybe it was because I was slowly adapting to the busy life at the okiya, or maybe it was because of Auntie and Tomoyo. I really didn't know.

Brushing aside the thoughts, I allowed myself to enjoy the moment while it had lasted. Being in the okiya was like being locked up in a prison where you had to work your butt off every day. I didn't get many breaks. The work usually went from 6:00 A.M. in the morning to the late afternoon, and then into the night, and the next day, the cycle started again. It was nice to finally be free again. Inhaling the fresh city air, I closed my eyes and smiled a little as I opened up my arms to welcome in the cool autumn breeze. It caressed my cheeks and exposed skin gently, leaving feather-light touches across my pale skin, and rustling through my auburn hair, then, vanishing without a trace, as if it was never there.

I reopened my eyes and gazed into the shades of crystal blueness above me. There were patches of unfolded sheets of clouds floating slowly in the sky. Some were moving in groups and some were alone. My gaze then fell upon the large trees planted on the side walk and noticed how the leaves were turning a reddish-brown, darkened auburn color. I didn't know it had already been that long. The last time I was out on the little crooked muddy road of our village, it was still humid and warm, and the trees were still as brilliantly green as ever, but now… such dramatic change took my by surprise.

I continued down the road, leaving the crowded area and entering a totally different world, where the streets were quiet and empty, occupied a pleasant peaceful tranquility. There were large palace-sized houses on the sides that were even more grand and beautiful than the okiya. My jaws dropped as I gasped at the beauty of the houses. Unlike the avenue the okiya was located at, which had all identical looking houses. Each of these mansions were unique in their own ways and had a style of their own which further enhanced their elegancy. The front entrance to the mansions were slightly different from the traditional ones of the okiya, they had a more westernized and modern appearance. I could actually see the lovely gardens from where I was because of the metallic barred tall fences. I felt like I was in a mystical land and my pace slowed down drastically as I became more enchanted by the beauty of the traditional Japanese gardens inside.

Finally coming into a stop in front one of them, I approached the gates without realizing I had done so since my eyes and mind were too preoccupied and immensely impressed by the beauty of the large cherry blossom tree located near the grand entrance to the mansion. It was so large that its branches formed an enormous umbrella that acted as a shelter of some sort. My mother had once told me that large trees were actually possessed by spirits who were probably a member of the family, he or she resides in the tree to be close by their loved ones and act as their guardian spirit.

My head bumped into the cold metallic bars of the gate and realized that I had trailed off my path once again. "Itai. (Ouch.)" I rubbed my head, trying to ease the sharp pain created by the bump. It was then I saw the most magical thing in my life. I saw a young boy around my age appearing under the tree. He must have had approached the tree while I was distracted by the pain.

He had short messy chestnut hair and extremely handsome features. He was wearing an expensive looking boy's kimono which fitted him perfectly, giving him an appearance of a true samurai. He had a wooden stick held in front of him and appeared to be cutting through the invisible air. The sudden chilly breeze that swirled by rustled through his hair, causing the chestnut bangs that framed his delicate yet handsome face to sway rhythmically with it.

His kimono sleeves swayed to the direction of of the wind as well and I was astonished by the beautiful scenery before my eyes. I didn't know if it was just a mere illusion or reality, but one thing was for sure, I was captivated by the mysterious boy with the wooden kendo stick. Mother used to tell me stories of the great samurais who risked their lives to protect our beautiful country, and before me, was exactly the type of great samurai I had pictured in mind. He might be a bit young to be a hero of this country at the time, but I knew, from the way he controlled his sword, he was going to become a great samurai when he grows up.

With these thoughts filled in my mind, I poked my head in between the two metallic bars to get a closer view of him. The soothing coldness against my warm skin felt strangely pleasing. And suddenly, he held out his sword in front of him again, his head turning my way just a little bit and looked straight into my eyes. It was a brief moment but I felt my own body being paralyzed, and my heart literally skipped a beat as it started pounding much faster than before. My breath became short and uneven as my eyes widened. I was startled by the determination and passions I saw in his burning amber eyes.

The ambers burned brightly under the pale sunlight of autumn, and I was at a loss of words when I felt them drawing me in, draining all the strength I had in my body. I felt I was going to fall and that I was losing my balance. The level of intensity and seriousness held by those orbs, and the fierceness mixed with the passions for life made him look breathtakingly handsome. I was lost in the endless amber. I didn't know what to do except gaping back at him with my own astounded and bewildered emerald green eyes. Our eyes were locked in a gaze, and I found myself unable to pull away from the strong attraction. The warmth spread across my cheeks, making me flushing slightly pink, adding onto my natural rosy color.

It was then someone from within the house called him and he turned away, breaking off our eye contact. "Syaoran!" The person called again, but this time louder. Her voice was soft but strong and very motherly. The boy was now facing the side of the house instead of me. I gathered up the only strength left in my body and exerted myself off the gates and scurried away, hurring away from something and yet nothing. Maybe I was trying to run away from him… from his fierce, piercing gaze… or his burning amber orbs that seemed to have cast a spell on me, binding me to it with invisible strings.

I was running, escaping, fleeting. My mind was racing at the speed of light and my body seemed to have a mind of its own, temporarily separated from my brain. And my heart was pounding as fast as it could, I placed a hand on my chest, to slow down my heartbeat, but it didn't seem to work. The world around me seemed be have been silenced by something, muted, and at the moment, all I could hear was my own pulse, beating through my body.

I had never seen such passionate, radiant amber eyes before. I felt so drawn to it that if he didn't turn around I couldn't have been able to pull away from that gaze. It was the first time I had felt something like this, something so exciting and scary at the same time. I was afraid, yet I wanted to stay and find out more about him.

I finally slowed down, my breath heavy from the running. Sweat was trickling down my cheek from my forehead but I did not bother to wipe it away as I usually did. His image was haunting my mind. I wondered who he was… it was then I remembered something, his name was Syaoran… I was pretty sure it was his name, but then again, a part of me was doubtful, since I wasn't myself at the time and was apparently cut off from the rest of the world, my surroundings. But I heard a woman calling him by that name… It must have been his name…

"Syaoran…" I repeated, unaware I had just done so. I turned around slightly and looked over my shoulder, allowing my eyes to gaze at the emptiness of the road which had once led me to that mysterious boy. Little did I know at the time that he had captured my heart the moment our eyes met…

The pair of passionately burning amber orbs that bewitched me… belonged to the man who I fell deeply in love with, the man that I will love for the rest of my life. And that love, so destructive and beautiful and passionate, will linger on, even after death… But for now, I was simply fascinated by him, his wooden kendo sword, and most of all, his intensive amber eyes.

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**TO BE CONTINUED...**

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a/n: I'm a lazyass but I'm updating this story weekly. And that is a HUGE commitment. So keep up the reviews guys! I adore each every one of them and get inspired every time I read one XP. So if you want me to keep updating this story, then **KEEP ON REVIEWING!** Lolz. Alright I'll shut up now. XD but I swear to god long chapter kills my patience and brain cells but then again I couldn't resist adding in some little details about things. (yesh it's my own fault XD) After all, details x angst beautiful. So yah, I'm probably gonna stick to that equation until I get tired of it one day XD. 

Anyway, like I said before, Sakura is going to meet Syaoran in this chapter XP and she did! Muwahaha, such kawaii moment eh? Too bad it only lasted for about… (looks down to check her watch) 30 seconds. XD A few of the characters is introduced in this chapter, but Eriol and Meiling and the rest of them will appear only in later on chapters. And you can count on seeing Syaoran again in the next chapter again! (smiles) I apologize for the lack of romance and fluff in the story and it appears to be moving very slow right now, but I promise it'll get better. The plot will take a few more chapters to develop and I hope you're starting to the notice the difference between my story and _Memoirs of the Geisha_. I said I wasn't going to use that plot and the only reason the first two chapters appear to be similar to the book is because those are mostly background information and how things worked back then, and I can't just make up stuff and say it is historically accurate.

I got lazy from times to time and took a LOT of breaks in between when I was typing up this chapter, so I think you can tell when I got lazy and when I wasn't lazy. (Hint: the parts that lacked my usual detailed description are where I got lazy XD buwahaha)

**IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you haven't done so already, please add your email to my Fanfic Notify List if you want me to email you when there is an update. Also, if you don't want the crazy authoress (MOI!) to have your email (that's very understandable too XD after seeing my insaneness, who would wanna put up with me ne?), just letting you guys know that I usually update things on the weekend, Friday night and Saturday night to be specific. So check out my fanfics on those days to look for new updates! (Not just this fic, all my fics are updated on those nights)

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**Reviews appreciated. Flames ignored. Constructive criticisms considered.**


	4. Determinations

**Withered Petals  
**_By: Aisaki Sumi_

a/n: to those of you who haven't had a chance to visit my Fic-Journal and request a drabble yet, today's the last day to request, and you can just leave it in your review if you're interested in requesting a special S+S X-mas drabble written just for you! And to those who have already requested something, I'll read over the comments you left on my Fic-Journal or the review you left, and try to write the drabble you wanted, but I can't guarantee you'll get it because there's a number of other people who are requesting it and if the idea has already been requested by someone else, then I'm sorry I can't write anything for you, unless you come up with something else and request another one. The total drabbles I will write is TEN, no more than that, so if you request late, then I really can't help you with it even though I'd like to take your request. Enough said and on with the story.

A few people had request for a clear up of the characters' ages and all. I think I have mentioned Sakura's age in the first chapter, but it was probably unclear and I apologize for the confusion.

Character's current ages:  
Sakura, Tomoyo: 8, but Sakura is turning 9 very soon, and I will mention that in the next chapter if not, the chapter after that.  
Syaoran: 10  
Nanako-san: 16  
Auntie and Mother: around 30 something

**A special thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter! I love you all! And a big hug to those of you who added this story to your favorite list!** **I LOVE YOU GUYS! (and I'd like those of you to request a drabble too, it is my way of showing my appreciation X3)

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**Chapter 4 Determinations **

I returned late to the okiya that night and encountered a very worried Auntie at the entrance. Her usual warm smile was absent from her motherly face, and her eyes had the same serious glint I saw on the day of my arrival when she warned me of all the possible outcomes of my inability to please mother. She placed her hands on my shoulders; her grasp was strong and firm, indicating her level of seriousness. I blinked a few times, shocked and perplexed. Nanako-san told me to return before dinner and I did, it was at least an hour away from dinner time for the upper family of the okiya.

But something about Auntie's unreadable and rare expression told me that I had done something wrong. I stayed silent and gazed into her eyes and prepared myself for whatever she had to say. The air was thick and intense, and I wasn't sure if I knew how to breathe properly anymore. The suspense and tension stirred the uneasiness in me, causing my heart to pound faster than before. The deafening silence between us, created such an unfamiliar awkwardness and I was unsure of what to do, but to wait patiently, or at least attempt to do so anyway.

Finally after Auntie had took a long hard look at me, she let out a heavy sigh that she seemed to have been holding the entire time and I couldn't help but relax a little as well. "Sakura-chan, I think I have told you about leaving the okiya without mother's permission haven't I?" She asked me, her eyes observant and sharp, as if she was trying to detect any change of expression or emotion in my eyes. No wonder they say your eyes are the windows to your soul. I nodded, now biting my bottom lip, I chewed at the corners of my mouth every time I was nerves. The temporary distraction seemed to have provided me the some cure.

"Then why were you out so late?" I continued to stare at her. She paused for a moment after she had posed her question to let it seep through my dumbfounded brain. My feet squirmed uneasily as I tried to get my mind to cooperate. I wanted to tell her the truth that Nanako-san ordered me to go buy the peaches she wanted, but I was afraid she would ask how I managed to meet Nanako-san when I was usually doing chores on the ground level. I could tell her that Mother told me to scrub the floors of the second level of the okiya, but that might trigger another around of questioning concerning other things that had the potential to get me into more troubles.

My mind recalled on the memory of entering Tomoyo's room without Mother's permission and spilling the water on the fine, well-polished floor. I shuddered slightly as I thought of the consequences of that. If Mother ever finds out that I was a clumsy girl, she would throw me out of the okiya for sure! "I… " I began, my voice quivering, unsure, filing with uncertainty and fear. Auntie nodded, her eyes giving the flicker of go on. I licked my dry lips, letting my tongue to moisten the roughened surface. Parting my lips to speak, but nothing came out -- my voice had just betrayed me.

Auntie sighed again, loosening her grip on my shoulder. I could feel the pressure being released, but my heart felt not much lighter than before, it was just as heavy as ever, filled with fear and dread. "I know you are a quiet girl and do not like to speak much to the rest of us, but you know the rules here. I understand how you feel and the lonely thoughts you keep to yourself. But others don't, especially mother, and you have to answer the questions posed to you clearly and truthfully. Wakkada yo?" Auntie looked at me meaningfully, her voice sincere and soft.

I nodded and she patted me on the back. It was then her eyes fell upon the bag I was holding on the side. Reaching out her hand, she touched the bag, gave it a little squeeze and took it out of my grasp. "What is this? Where did you get it?" Questioned Auntie without looking up at me, her eyes focused on the bag and the things in it. Her hand traveled to the opening of the bag and pulled it apart, revealing the reddish orange peaches within. "Who gave you the money to buy these?" Auntie now averted her attention from the peaches and directed it to me, expecting some sort of reply.

"Na… na… ko… - san… " I stammered out the syllables of that beautiful name, yet I couldn't help but disdain it as her cruel haunts replayed in my mind. I saw Auntie's eyes widening just slightly, but returned to their original size as she composed herself again, as if nothing had just happened. She straightened her back and smoothed out the wrinkled fabric of her kimono resulted from the bend. A soft sigh escaped her natural red lips once again and she shook her head, cocking it to the side and muttering to no one in particular.

"Ugh…Nanako-san again…" The murmur was so soft and faint -- almost immediately vanished into the cold air of the autumn night, leaving no traces of any type of evidence behind. There was a small frown on her aged face, created by the confrontation of her thin crescent eyebrows, stretching out some of her wrinkled skin on her forehead yet only to fold them into thin but deep lines in the center, making her appear older than she actually was. I could tell that she was displeased by the mentioning of Nanako-san's name, and my mind pondered on the matter, as to the reason why she disliked the head geisha of our okiya. It was true that Nanako-san appeared to be conceived and cruel, but it was hard for me to believe that a nice lady like Auntie would dislike someone or anyone in fact.

"So you have met her already." It was more of a statement than question. Auntie returned the bag to me and clapped her hands together, her palms rubbing each other as she shivered slightly. "Oh goodness, it is quite chilly out here." She commented as her hands rubbed the smooth fabric of her sleeves which I took to warm herself up. A chilly brisky breeze swirled by, causing my a few loose strands of my auburn hair sway at its direction, caressing my warm skin with its cold, soul-calming hand.

"Saa, let's get you inside then. You wouldn't want to catch a cold here. At the okiya you must never get sick or you'll owe medical bills and trust me, it takes a while to pay them back, even if you become a successful geisha." I didn't understand what she meant by that back then, which soon will be taught to me as I stay in the okiya longer. Everyone at the Okiya must pay for everything they eat, everything they use and of course, all of their own medical bills and clothing. Young girls like me who were brought here to receive her geisha training must pay the okiya back all the geisha lessons' fees, and many other payments. Usually a geisha must work four to five years to finish the last bits of the money they owed the okiya, however a popular and successful geisha who is able to capture the heart of the most powerful man would earn herself a consistent source of income.

"Mother wants to see you, but I told her you were doing the kitchen some errands since I didn't know where you were. If mother questions you of where you went, just tell her the truth that you went to buy Nanako-san some peaches since they were her favorite. Keep in mind that you must respond to each of Mother's questions accordingly. Don't show any signs of hesitation or mother will assume that you're lying." Auntie informed me cautiously as she took me by my hand and led me to Mother's room like the day of my arrival. She provided me a sense of security and I felt safe and secured around her. Her faint lavender scent and gentle face reminded me of my own mother. At this time, I didn't know that she would be the motherly figure in my life even in my geisha years, and that her only daughter Tomoyo would soon become a sister to me, the closest friend I'd ever have.

While I was being enchanted by her pleasant scent and warmth, Auntie suddenly stopped at the end of the dark corridor and let go of my hand, snapping me back to the present. I felt the warmth drifting away, my eyes saddened just slightly as I watched her darkened figure kneeling down and sliding the door open. The shadows cast upon her aged yet still elegant face moments ago were now driven away by light which was illuminating her skin slightly orangey, bringing back her natural glow. She gestured me to enter and kneel down and bow deeply to Mother as my way of showing her my respect.

I did what I was told to and slowly leveled my vision until it lined up with mothers. Her peculiar raven orbs meeting mine in a gaze which caused my inner defense system to be on high alert. My heartbeats started to speed up as the dreadful feelings of what was about to happen to me rushed into the chambers of my small heart. I had always dreaded direct confrontations with mother. There was just something about her that made me feel being watched and uncomfortable, and that I was being examined closely under some sort of magnifying glass. Her piercing gaze burned holes through the mask that I was wearing, leaving me exposed.

"It took you quite while to return from your errands. You know my policy here, I don't keep useless girls around to feed them and let them sit around and relax. I need people who are capable of doing work and accomplishing them in a speed that I wanted. And you, obviously did not understand that." Mother's stern and criticizing tone caused me to gulp, but I found it hard to swallow as if my throat was blocked by some sort of lump. My breath was heavy, and uneven, I tried to relax myself but couldn't. Every part of my muscle contracted, preparing for some sort of impossible escape.

A disgustful fear suddenly rose from my guts, turning my stomach upside down. I felt an urgency of throwing up, but I managed to restrain myself from doing so to displease mother. The way she was speaking to me made me shiver with worry and fear. She obviously sounded displeased. But it was my first time out of the okiya, and the uncalled meeting with the mysterious boy with the kendo sword caused me to lose my direction just momentarily. I wondered in the dark, on the empty streets of that fancy avenue, but I eventually found my way out and returned to my original trail. However, this did consume up a lot of my time and resulted my tardiness. It was then a horrifying thought struck my mind, could it have outraged mother and caused her to want to kick me out of the okiya and abandon me on the streets to starve to death?

Horror flashed in my green eyes before I could even realize what I had done. All of Auntie's warnings were tossed to the back of my head as I let the overwhelming, sickening fear take control of my body and mind. I didn't want to leave the okiya, I didn't want to leave Auntie and Tomoyo, I didn't want to be alone again and abandoned. A part of me still longed for my own family, but a part me had already accepted the fact that I had been abandoned by them yet only to be adopted by another. Life at the okiya might have been hard, but I found it to be quite heartwarming at times, especially when I was around Auntie and Tomoyo, and I felt I had a purpose in life. They opened up their arms and accepted me; they took me into extreme care and I wasn't about to let all this slip from my grasp without putting up a fight.

Mother instantly saw my dramatic change of expression and rose en eye brow, causing the sagging skin around her eyes to stretch out a bit. "Why do you look so horrified? I am merely pointing out the things you must do at this okiya. I am displeased by your actions, no doubt in that, but I'll be gentle this time and take your age and experience into consideration. The next time you're late doing errands again, you will get yourself a beating." Mother declared, grunting as she cleared her throat again, but her voice was just as raspy and pitchy as ever, it sounded broken and hoarse, which was the contrary of Auntie's voice.

She smoothed out her silky kimono and straightened out her long sleeve. Pulling it back a little bit so it wouldn't get in her way, one of her hand picked up the tea cup lying on the abandoned table just beside her. She blew at the mouth of the cup before taking a sip of the warm liquid in it. The misty steam swirled out of her cup and vanishing into the surrounding air as it was too timid and was devoured by the predatory air encircling it. I watched her taking another sip soundlessly, in her graceful manner and admired her secretly. Just for the moment, I let my admiration occupy my mind and let the fears subdue.

Returning the cup to its previous location, mother averted her attention from the steamy liquid inside of her cup and back to me. "I went over to sign you up for your geisha lessons with Tomoyo today, and it will start tomorrow." I was astonished by the piece of information offered before me and literally gasped out loud. I didn't think I would be starting my geisha lessons this soon as I had been told by others that girls usually start their geisha lessons a few months or even years after they had arrived at the okiya. I had only been to the okiya for a few weeks, and yet, I was offered this chance of a life time. I thought Mother was going to throw me out of the okiya, but instead, she was actually informing me on my new schedule. Astounded, I simply stood there, gaping at her with disbelieves written all over my face.

"Don't look at me like that. You must learn how to compose yourself and let none of your true emotions show. A geisha must master this skill to be successful. I merely told you something so insignificant and yet here you are, so shocked and amazed. If the head of the Kyoto Electric Company comes and compliment you, are you going to look at him like the way you are to me right now?" Mother interrogated, her face was stoic, yet I could see the signs of displeasure mirrored in her glinting raven orbs. I immediately shook my head as responsive as possible.

"Good, I hope you'll demonstrate this kind of understanding when you start your geisha classes with Tomoyo. I will give you a chance to prove yourself to me, and if I hear unpleasant things from your geisha teacher, I will withdraw my investment in you and you'll be out of the okiya in a split of a second. And let's just hope that won't be what I will end up doing." Each of her words vibrated through the dense air in the room and eventually reaching to my ears, echoing each syllables through my head. I nodded again to show my comprehension of her instructions and Mother gave me a little nod in return before she turned away to face Auntie who was a few inches away from me.

"Auntie, about Tomoyo's condition… " She trailed off as she suddenly realized that I was still in the room. Waving a hand at me as her dismissal sign and I did as I was told to, however my movements showed great reluctance. I wanted to stay to hear what she was going to say about Tomoyo, but I knew eavesdropping was forbidden in the okiya, especially when it involved the upper family. I obediently left the room, sliding the paper screened door closed behind me slowly as my attempt to be graceful like Auntie, Mother, Tomoyo and Nanako-san, whom I had a like and hate relationship with. I admired her for her elegancy yet I detested her attitude and haunts.

I rambled down the darkened corridor, embraced by shadows and threatening darkness of the night, which eventually led me out of the entrance of the main house. I was welcomed by a gentle yet chilly night breeze as I stepped out of the main house carefully. I yanked my head backward until it touched my shoulder, my eyes widened in amazement at the beauty of the night sky. The vast expanse of navy blueness stretched across the sky from the horizons, like a velvet cape, wrapping the entire world into it, as if the world was a delicate, fast asleep baby. The stars strewn across the endless silky indigo like diamond chips, sparkling brightly.

I expanded my arms as if I was ready to embrace the world, the unknown possibilities before me. My lips curled into an excited grin as I waited for the arrival of tomorrow. _I was going to become a geisha…_

……

Just when I felt I was drifting to the verge of sleep and falling into a deep slumber, I was being awakened by Auntie. She gave my shoulder a light shook, but received only a reluctant groan in response. I felt I was being pulled away my journey toward my dreamland. Furrowing my eyebrows at the unwelcoming hands, I slowly opened my eyes to see who it was, and there, my eyes crossed with Auntie's worried ones. "Sakura, you have to get ready for your geisha lessons." She whispered, her warm breath beating against my cooler skin. Her face was only inches away from mine and I could smell her unique scent.

I rubbed my eyes and nodded as I slowly pulled my upper body out of the faint warmth provided by the thin blanket. Auntie turned around to pick up something she brought along with her and passed the package wrapped in paper to me. I looked at her curiously as I took the paper package. As I carefully unwrapped it, the paper rustled in my hands, making loud noises that disturbed the tranquility of the maid's room. I heard Shizuko-san grunting loudly as she turned over to her side, shifting and wiggling under her cover until she found a more comfortable spot.

I pulled the last part of the brown paper away and a beautiful blue kimono with white flowery designs on it came into view. My jaws dropped slightly as I gaped at Auntie, letting my astonishment shown. Auntie simply smiled at me and whispered softly. "It's for you. The design represents our okiya and you'll be wearing this when you go to your geisha lessons. Remember, once you're wearing this, you're representing the rest of us, so make us proud and not ashamed!"

Auntie's hand traveled up my face, her thumb tracing the shape of it. "You're a beautiful girl Sakura. Go impress the geisha who will be teaching you with your beauty and cleverness." Auntie had an encouraging light shimmering in her hazel eyes. I felt tears swelling up in my eyelids, my lips trembled as a droplet slid down my cheeks, but this time, it was the tear of joy. I was overwhelmed by her gentleness and heartwarming encouragement. At that moment, I felt I had just gained the strength and confidence that I didn't knew I could ever possess.

She patted the top of my head lovingly and stood up, giving me the time and space to get dressed, but before she left my futon's side, she also informed me on another thing that interested me immensely. "Tomoyo got up a few moments ago and I'm going to go back and help her get dressed. It is still a bit dark outside, but the geisha classes are in another district and it will take you a while to get there. Tomoyo will be done in a few minutes, so wait in the courtyard when you're done alright?" I nodded in reply and she flashed me another warm smile before leaving the room.

I stared down at the kimono in my hands and traced the patterns on it with my index finger. The kimono wasn't silky or anything, it was just plain cotton, but it was the most elegant thing ever given to me. I hugged it tightly and inhaled in the dusty scent of the paper. It was the beginning of my long arduous journey of becoming a geisha, and I felt that I was as ready as ever.

……

After I finished dressing, the rest of the maids were up as well. Shizuko-san splashed water over her face and wiped away the water droplets clutched onto her skin in a hurry before rushing off to the kitchen to prepare everyone's breakfast. She was always the last one to get up, and the last one to get to kitchen, but miraculously, Mother knew nothing of her tardy habits. I straightened out my kimono like the way Mother and Auntie and Tomoyo did and composed myself, attempting to form the same graceful composure they had.

The Sun was slowly rising, showing it radiant face. Infinite rays of sunlight elongated across the blue sky, tinged the unfolded sheets of white cotton-like clouds slightly reddish and orangey. I waited patiently in the courtyard, turning my head around to see to make sure I couldn't miss Tomoyo's arrival. Time passed by like the sand in an hourglass, the sun was already up and everyone was busy starting their morning chores, I still didn't see Tomoyo around. I was becoming slightly restless as I tapped my finger against the back of my other hand. Auntie said we had to wake up earlier than usual to make it to the geisha classes on time, but it was already quite late, and soon, the upper family will be heading down to the large dining room for breakfast.

Just as trains of restless thoughts trailed off my mind, I heard someone calling me from the afar. Turning to face that direction, I saw Auntie and Tomoyo rushing out of the door on my left. Tomoyo looked absolutely beautiful in her cotton kimono, which had the same designs as mine, but somehow, she made it look far more elegant and beautiful than it actually was. Her hair was tied into a small not, leaving only a few streaks hanging loosely down her back and shoulders. Auntie had her arms around Tomoyo, supporting her as she made her way down the stairs shakily.

"Gomen ne, we ran into a little problem." Auntie apologized as she dusted the fabric of Tomoyo's kimono. "Sakura, make sure you're with her all the times, and don't let go of her hand when you're going to the geisha class. I'm counting on you to take care of her." Auntie passed Tomoyo's right hand to me and held both of our hands tightly together as she looked at me long and meaningfully. I nodded hastily to show her that I was a responsible person and that I would take care of Tomoyo the way she did and maybe even better.

Auntie smiled at my reaction and patted my back gently. "I know I can trust you, just don't let go of her hand." She repeated it again, reinforcing her point to make sure I understood everything. "I'm not going to take you two to the geisha classes, so it's up to you to find the way there on time. The geisha school is pretty far away from our okiya, but it is not hard to find. Just walk straight down these avenues and you'll find it. You'll probably see girls around your age on the way, if you ever get lost, just ask around and people will direct you to the right place since it is relatively well-known. But I highly doubt you'll need to ask for directions since everything's pretty straightforward." Auntie instructed, her hands moving through the air drawing an invisible map for me.

"Hai, wakkada." I assured her again as I held Tomoyo's hand tightly in mine. Auntie smiled at me and passed two rice balls to me and gestured me to keep them safe in my kimono's sleeves. The sudden warmth around my left arm startled me a bit, but I quickly adapted to it. Auntie gave me a little push on the back and I guided Tomoyo out of the grand entrance of the okiya carefully. I looked over my shoulder before leaving the okiya entirely and saw Auntie waving at us, biding her goodbye. "Be careful!" I heard her yelling out the words. Nodding, I waved back at her and left the okiya with Tomoyo by my side.

Her hand was warm and soft. It was as if I was holding a piece of silk that had the potential to slip through my fingers if I didn't hold it tightly enough. "Gomen ne Sakura-chan, for making you wait. I had some trouble getting into this kimono and kaasan had to help me and all. I really wanted to try getting dressed myself, but guess I can't, because I can't see." Her voice was as soft and delicate as ever, but I could hear the underlying disappointment and irritation in her velvety tone. "I'm so useless…" The last three words were faint and quiet, but they sounded deafeningly loud to my ears to a certain extent that I didn't want to hear it anymore.

I tightened my grasp, "You're not Tomoyo-chan, don't say that about yourself. You're far from being useless. You have a beautiful enchanting voice, and you're a great person to be around with." I said with great certainty, and she simply smiled at my compliments. I could see the sadness shimmering in her hollow amethyst orbs, the hidden sadness and helplessness that she bottled up inside of herself. There were a few rare moments as this one that she allowed me to see her inner bitterness and pain, even in our geisha years. She wasn't a person who would complain about her unfair life, she didn't hold a grudge against God for depriving her of her sight; she strongly believed it was her inability to accommodate to her blindness, whereas I would simply blame it on fate and destiny.

The rest of our journey to the geisha school was spent in silence, the only sounds detectable by our ears were the rhythmical clings made by our uniform footsteps. We passed through the crowded, busy area of the Gion district where working people rushed to buy their breakfast so they could get to their work on time. But we soon left the crowds of people and started to head down a strangely familiar road that I wandered down the day before. It was the fancy yet quiet neighborhood again, where all the palace-like houses were surrounding by a pleasant and peaceful tranquility. I could hear the birds on nearby trees chirping cheerfully. My heart started to pound faster as we neared the mansion that I stopped by yesterday, where I saw that mysterious handsome young boy named Syaoran, whom reminded me so much of a samurai. The way his chestnut hair swayed haphazardly with the wind, and the way he moved his sword under that large cherry blossom tree – fascinated me greatly.

An unexplainable excitement aroused in me and I was starting to hear my own pulse beating through my body. I tightened my grip without realizing that I had done so and this caused Tomoyo to look at my way with her unfocused eyes. "What is it Sakura-chan?" She asked concernedly, cocking her head to the side to face me even though she couldn't see my face. I shook my head and kept my eyes straight ahead. I was both excited and scared to see that boy again. But a strange desire took control of my mind, toyed with my threadbare sanity, and compelling me follow the eccentric mental map imprinted in my mind that would eventually lead me to him – to that pair of intensive amber eyes.

Continuing on, I felt my control on my own body fading away, as if the invisible threads that tied my mind and body together had just snapped. Letting my heart and desire guiding the way, I once again, found myself walking down that oddly familiar path that appeared to be destined for me to follow, as if it was created solely for me. The familiar fancy metallic fences started to come into my view and I could see the faint image of a metallic westernized gate. I began to slow down my pace as I carefully approached it. The image became larger and larger as I enclosed our distance, and there, I came to face in face with the gates which locked away my deepest fantasy. My eyes traveled along the meandering stone patch trail, and then the little traditional hyperbolic wooden bridge, eventually stopping by the cherry blossom tree.

There was him, practicing his kendo swings. I stopped on my track, my body paralyzed temporarily as I stared at him, memorizing every fine detail of his handsome features, and his kimono. Sweat clutched to his chestnut bangs, soaking the strands, giving them the dampened look. The silky bangs slid pass his ears as he stepped back, swinging the sword to cut through his imaginary opponent. The amount of determination and passions reflected in his amber orbs seemed so daring and provoking in a way, given the impression of extreme superiority. He appeared to be so untouchable, unreachable. He was so close by, yet so far away. We were only separated by steeled bars, yet I knew, we were from two different worlds, and separated not only by metallic gates, but also by fate.

He swiveled around to cut through the falling cherry blossom petal and paused there for a moment. A gentle breeze swirled by, cooling his slightly reddened face, and at the same time drying the sweat clutched on his handsome face. His breathe was heavy, shortened from the practices. A culled smirk formed on his lips as the corner of his mouth curved upward. It was the smirk of confidence, of brilliance. His chest rising and falling rapidly, as he panted breathlessly, reaching out a hand to brush aside the wet bangs, he repositioned the sword in front of him again into attacking position, and repeated the routine of swinging and cutting.

I was immensely fascinated by him, the way he swung the sword with such ease and control, as if it was a part of him. I had seen boys practicing the art of kendo at my village before, but I had not seen any of them with such control, speed and precision before. This boy was truly a master of kendo, a true samurai. His eyes revealed his ambitions, his love for kendo, and such amount of passion made me speechless. I was lost in my own thoughts and excitement until Tomoyo tugged the sleeve of my kimono. "Ne Sakura-chan, how come we stopped here? Are we there already?"

Her voice shook me out of my fantasy and returned me to the world of reality, I turned around and saw her concerned eyes and pale creamy skin, I suddenly remembered what I was doing. "Gomen ne, I got distracted." I apologized and averted my attention away from her just slightly so I could still see that boy. I felt reluctant to have to withdraw my gaze from him.

"What were you looking at?" Tomoyo inquired curiously and looked passed me and subconsciously at the way of that boy. I returned my attention to him again and allowed my eyes to soften as I observed and admired the professionalism in his movements. It must've had taken him a long time to obtain such breathtakingly brilliant skills. I couldn't help but to smile at him serenely.

"A Samurai." I responded, it was a bare whisper, yet loud enough for Tomoyo to hear. It was then I wondered if the wind could carry the words to him, but I ended up dismissing it as an overly childish thought. "Souka na…" Tomoyo muttered, my ears picked up her soft voice and I knew, without having to turn around to look at her that she was smiling with me. I could hear the admiration and contentment in her tone.

We stood there, watching him from the afar. The morning sunlight bathed our backs, letting its motherly warmth seep through the cotton fabric of our kimono. The way the sun illuminated his face made him appear glowing, like a radiant star, so bright and brilliant, his resplendency could rival the brightest star in the universe. His chestnut hair emitted a pleasant glimmer, as a result of reflecting the light off the silky locks. And his eyes, so fierce and passionate, glowed under the glamorous morning sunlight, such intensive, burning amber eyes literally took my breath away. They were brighter and more gorgeous than the first time we had met.

The beautiful, harmonic tranquility was disturbed by the approaching footsteps and chattering, steadily growing louder as the group of people neared us. I quickly averted myself from the gates and grabbed onto Tomoyo's elbow, pushing her forward, diverting us away from the approaching crowd. I didn't want us to get into any troubles by blocking the way. We were now meters away from the fancy-looking gates and I hushed both of us while keeping a close eye on the tiny advancing group of people. They appeared to be growing taller and larger as they came closer. There were three beautiful women among the men dressed in classy, expensive-looking kimonos. The women had silky raven hair smoothed into a beautiful geisha hairstyle, and by judging the way they had their make up applied, I knew with great certainties that they were geishas.

Their faces were covered in a rich white powdery substance, and their lips were dyed scarlet red. The upper part of their lips was left unpainted, only the bottom part was, but just slightly. The shape of their painted lips reminded me of a cherry. I gawked at their fairness and watched them ramble down the road gracefully. They took small steps because of their kimono, and left the end part fluttering just slightly. The men were all middle-aged, some appeared to be in their fifties. Yet the geishas were fairly young, one of them seemed to be the same age as Nanako-san.

"Kyoko-san, this way." I heard the chubby man on the right say, he was standing beside the beautiful geisha in light pink kimono. The geisha smiled gorgeously and lowered her head just slightly to show her politeness and respect. All the men's eyes were on her, and I could see their admiration sparkling in their eyes, there were interest, desire in a mixture. But the geisha wasn't affected by it. The two other geishas beside her were elegant as well, but they lacked a certain element Kyoko-san had, and this caused them to be rather dull to look at when they were next to Kyoko-san.

"Oh my, who is that little boy with the kendo sword?" Kyoko-san gasped softly, maintaining her elegancy while letting her astonishment shown. Three of her right hand's fingers were holding back her long sleeve as her other hand snapped the closed she was holding open, covering her small scarlet red mouth while her eyes settled on Syaoran. "Such skill at this young age. He'll grow up to be a brilliant, fine young man." She complimented and smiled at the chubby man next to her.

I saw a faint blush appearing on the older man's cheeks, but it disappeared as soon as it came out. He shifted in his kimono uneasily and replied proudly. "That's my grandson, I insisted on teaching him the art of kendo when he was only 3 years old. But of course his mother was against the idea at first and scolded at me for making her only son practice kendo at that age. However when I hired a teacher for him, he showed such rapid improvement and that shocked my daughter as well." He nodded to no one in particularly as he went on, explaining to the rest of the group of people. "And I told Yelan that the boy's got samurai blood running down his veins! See, the old man here's still as wise as ever!"

His last comment caused the rest to burst into laughter, even Kyoko-san laughed. Yet her laugh wasn't like others', hers sounded more like music -- a beautiful melody of some sort, and I was immediately drawn to her. This was the kind of geisha I wanted to become. A lovely, elegant geisha like Kyoko-san, charming numerous powerful men with her beautiful smile.

"I wonder what Syaoran-kun will say when he sees such beautiful geisha like Kyoko-san!" The younger man at the back exclaimed, looking teasingly at the chubbier man whom I assumed must be Syaoran's grandfather. Though he was a bit young to be a grandfather from my point of view, but I later on learned that men in Kyoto marry at a much younger age than the men in my village.

Kyoko-san giggled softly at the comment and became more amused as she saw the glare Syaoran's grandfather had tossed to the said man. "Saa. (Who knows)"

I felt extremely envious as I watched them entering the gates, trailing off and letting the metallic gates slammed close again. My desire of becoming a geisha became stronger that moment. If I could become a geisha like Kyoko-san, I would be able to enter those fancy mansions as well, accompanied by groups of men who would admire me like they hadn't seen anything so exotic and beautiful before. But most importantly, I wanted Syaoran to be able to look at me and admire me like he would do with Kyoko-san.

If I could become a geisha, the barrier that separated me and him would be broken down, become insignificant. If I could become a geisha, I would be able to entertain men of powerful status like Syaoran. If I could become a geisha, I would be able to be elegant and beautiful. The snow of winter that occupied my mind for all those weeks after I had arrived at the okiya seemed to have molten away, revealing the beautiful spring. I could see more clearly now, and the future laid ahead of me, but most importantly, I knew exactly what my destiny was. My old life as a farmer's daughter had already faded, and this was my new life – the life of a geisha.

The image of Kyoko-san flashed in my mind again as my eyes fell upon the empty spot in front of me which was occupied by the crowd of chattering people. I set a goal in silently for myself that I would one day become a successful geisha like Kyoko-san, but little did I know at the time that Kyoto-san was actually one of the most celebrated geishas in Japan. She was the top geisha in Kyoto and had been entertaining the most powerful men in Japan, ranging from the Japanese emperor at the time, and to the owners of the largest Japanese companies.

Another thing I didn't know of was that she would later on become the mentor of Tomoyo and I and that she was actually the one to lead me into the world of geisha and the complex society of the riches.

_I let the thoughts trailing off my mind, and smiled with such confidence for the first time ever.

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a/n: wow that took forever to type up, I personally dislike this chapter a lot and some important elements are missing but I just don't know which ones. My inspiration is somehow fading away, and as a result of that, I might slow down the updates on this one until my muses return to haunt me again. You have probably noticed the lack of detailed descriptions in this chapter, partially because I got really lazy today and uninspired. The words are not flowing right. I might re-write this chapter someday when I get a chance to. But for now, let's just leave it as that and hopefully you guys will look over the horrible writing. **Drop me a review** and let me know what you think of this story so far!

By the way, the movie, _Memoirs of a Geisha_ came out yesterday. I'll probably watch it around the Christmas break when I don't have as much homework and tests, and of course, when my best friend isn't working. Stupid Sears, they're making her work six days a week next week! Gahh! Such evilness!

**Reviews appreciated. Flames ignored. Constructive criticisms considered. **


	5. Unreal

_**Withered Petals  
**By: Aisaki Sumi_

A/N: My muses came back to haunt me when I was studying for my physics test. (I swear they pick the worst time to take over my mind) and I just had to write this thing down before I forget it again. Physics is easy, I'll just scan through the stuff and I'll be fine.

_Warning: this story is rated T for its mature contents. Not the sexual kind, but the actual literature kind. If you're looking for a serious, mature romance story with a historical setting, then this is then one for you. But if you are fond of silly teenage crush and love stories, it is still not too late to turn around. There is very light cursing in this story, since I don't see the need of using heavy profanity. This story has a few quite deep themes to it, enhanced by the use of angst and drama, and I will leave it to you, the readers, to figure it out. XP_

**Thank you all for reviewing this story, a few reviews really encouraged me and pulled me back to writing this story. I just wanna take the time to thank these reviewers for their encouraging words. Without you, this chapter wouldn't even be here. MidniteRoses, darksessho, cerise, MoshiMoshiQueen, Crystal-Magnolia, elena-maria, shaaarona, SiMply Sakura-chan, Sexy3Slytherin, Pinaygrrl, Particles of Sand. Thank you guys so much for being so supportive! Your reviews truly touched my heart! Thank you!**

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**Chapter 5 Unreal

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I was standing in the center of the courtyard, mopping the fallen leaves to a single pile only to toss them out later. The once emerald green leaves of the trees were now auburn colored, and some were tinged slightly reddish, as if someone had splashed various shades of red and brown onto it. I paused for a brief moment, to stare into the sky, and what came into view was the pale blue silk stretch across the horizons. There were patches of snowy white clouds scattering across the blue silk, spreading themselves into flattened sheets.

A chilly yet refreshing breeze whirled by, carrying a pleasant late auburn scent along with it. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with its freshness and closed my eyes just temporarily. The air of Kyoto was now indifferent from the air of my small village. It held a certain familiarity and made me feel that this was actually my home. I could still remember the day of my arrival. Everything was so foreign to me, the okiya, the courtyard, and the people – but now… it felt like the okiya was my home, a warm shelter that protected me from the violent storms outside.

My hair was now up to my shoulder length, and maybe a bit longer. But it was no longer short, like it used to be. Mother had always said I looked better with short hair. It gave me the appearance of a very bright and active child. But Auntie said the long auburn hair that framed my oval-shaped face brought out the maturity in me, and as well, my hidden elegancy. She said that with a beautiful kimono and some ornaments, I would look just as lovely as Nanako-san.

Auntie's kind words made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside, especially the way she stroked my hair. Her gentle touches reminded me so much of my mother, who abandoned me for a better place. I had always wanted to be as elegant as Nanako-san, and as beautiful as Kyoko-san. They were the kind of geisha I was determined to become.

I had worked hard in the past few weeks at the geisha school Tomoyo and I attended everyday except Sundays. The teachers were all retired geishas. Their movements were graceful and elegant, yet they were as strict as mother, and maybe even worse. But this stirred the competitiveness in me. I wanted to impress them, as Auntie had taught me to. It was my only way to success, to win mother's investments.

Tomoyo and I took the same classes. Tea ceremonial trainings were in the morning, and in the afternoon, we learn to sing, to dance, and to play an instrument that suited us the most. Tomoyo's angelic voice took the sensei's breath away when she was called up to sing. I still remembered the astounded look in Yukimura sensei's around gray eyes. She even dropped the fan she was holding, which was very un-geisha-like. I wasn't much of a singer, but I loved the traditional dances, they were beautiful and elegant and slow, enchanting in every single way.

I saw Nanako-san a few times at the geisha school. That took me by surprise. I thought she was already done all of her geisha trainings since she was assigned as the head geisha of our okiya. I later on asked Auntie about it and she told me even geishas like Nanako-san still had to continue on their studies in various geisha arts. It was a requirement for the geishas to continue their studies until they were no longer a geisha. However, successful geishas like Nanako-san didn't have to go to school like the rest of us. She only went there once a week, and on the other days, she was always away at a tea party, or entertaining the most powerful men in Kyoto.

I couldn't help but feel envious of her…

Auntie had complimented me the other day of my newly gained gracefulness and elegancy. She said that I was becoming more of a young lady by the days. The clumsy girl from a distant, small village was slowly fading away.

I went to study myself in the mirror later that night, but I saw no difference in my eyes or visage. I still looked the same, except the length of my auburn hair had changed. Tomoyo gave me one of her hair ornaments and told me to clip it on the side of my hair to keep the strands away from my eyes. I took it out and slipped it into my hair, tightening the end of it before letting go of my hand. And I was shocked to see the girl in the mirror. She looked mature and gorgeous. I wasn't sure if I was hallucinating or if it was actually real.

I sighed again as I returned to the task I was carrying out a moment ago – mopping the floor. The soft, rhythmical brushing sound of the broom against the stoned ground of the courtyard sounded so pleasant to my ears. It provided me a clear mind me think through my future, my present. A few strands of auburn locks brushed the sides of my cheeks softly, leaving a ticklish sensation behind. I pushed the hair behind my ears and paused again, pondering how long it would take me to become a real geisha.

Tomoyo had once informed me when we were on our way home one day that geisha lesson was only the beginning of the arduous journey to become a true geisha. It would take at least another three or four years before we could find ourselves a mentor and practice the arts of geisha as an apprentice geisha. However, not everyone was guaranteed a mentor, only a few lucky girls could be selected for this opportunity of a life time, and the rest they would have to wait another few years until someone comes along and lead them into the world of geishas'.

I felt immensely discouraged after hearing that. I thought once I started my geisha lessons, my future of being a geisha was guaranteed. But it was much more complicated then that.

It was then the image of that boy came into my mind, the boy named Syaoran. I wanted to find out more about him, and yet, I knew that with the status I had at the moment, my chances of talking to him, or even approaching him was nothing but a faint distant fantasy. He was like the prince from the distant land, brilliant and radiant, with a promising future, whereas I – a mere peasant girl, could only live a life as someone else's maid and slave. But a part of me denied this fact and believed naively that I could get to know him one day… and maybe even becoming his friend, just like what happened between Tomoyo and I.

Each day, I would see him early in the morning, when I was on my way to geisha school. He was always swinging that wooden kendo sword, repeating the same swift movement. Every time I saw him, a serious and intensive, warrior-like expression occupied his handsome face, emitting a superior aura. I admired the confident and determination they had. As the days passed by, I saw him more often, even on my way back from the geisha school. I could feel myself being drawn closer to him, by my own fascination and inquisitivity.

He was always there, under that cherry blossom tree, swinging and cutting, swinging and cutting. And all I could do was stand by the metallic bars with Tomoyo by myself, admiring him from the afar. He was like a distant star to me, so far away, yet so close by, but unreachable no matter how hard I had tried.

But little did I know that the fate that separated us would soon bring us together, by one single meeting in a chilly autumn afternoon…

……

It was just another Sunday, my only day off from geisha school and yet, it was filled with chores assigned by Mother. I scrubbed the entire first floor of the okiya in the morning, and only to be assigned more chores in the afternoon. Auntie took pity of me and told me to run some errands for her that wasn't actually for her, but actually for Nanako-san, who was away that afternoon as per usual at some tea party. I was told to pick up the newly made hair ornament for her. Auntie warned me to treat it with great care because it was for the special tea party that was coming up, and Nanako-san was invited by the CEO of Kyoto's electricity plant.

I didn't know who it was back then, but in my geisha years, I learned that he was a well-respected Japanese man, famous for his successful enterprise.

It was great to be outdoors again. Instead of breathing in the tainted and dusty air of the okiya, my lungs welcomed the refreshing and mint scented air of autumn – my favorite season of all. It was the season of celebrations, of harvesting, and the weather was simply perfect. The wind was not as violent and destructive as the freezing, snowy winter wind, nor was it humid and moisture-laden as the summer breeze. It was just perfect, soothing and refreshing. Sighing in relaxation, I grinned excitedly at no one in particular, thoroughly enjoying the season while it had lasted.

I hopped a little as I made my way down the humpy road, and strode off toward my destination. But instead of making a turn right there at the cross section, I walked straight down the path, heading toward that special place that I managed to pass by every week day and Saturday. I could feel the warmth crawling to my cheeks from the back of my ears as my heartbeat doubled, and tripling as I neared the mansion of my greatest ecstasy.

It was really silly of me to feel that way. The fascination overwhelmed my conscious mind, drove away all the rational thoughts that occupied it moments ago, replacing them with nothing more but fantasies and unrealistic ideas. I knew that I was taking a dangerous gamble with my own future and life. If I was ever discovered wandering down the streets like this, Mother would be furious and deprive me of my freedom, or worse, toss me out of the okiya and let me die helplessly on the streets.

But a part of me urged me to go on, to find out more about that boy who managed to draw me closer to him every time I saw him. He was the one who roused the rebelliousness in me, the desire for exploration and risk taking. He made me lose my usual calmness and collectiveness and pushed me to the verge, the boundary between reality and fantasy. I was caught in between, unable to move. And I knew better than anyone else that this would one day be the cause of my sufferings. Yet – I risked it all.

I was initially taught to be obedient as a kitten, to follow orders of the upper family of the okiya and never question a thing about life or my own future. All I had to do was to do the chores, impress mother and keep her pleased at all times so she could continue her investment in me, but that was all. But after meeting him; after seeing the passions his fierce amber eyes – a part of me was awakened – the part that was locked away, restrained by the demands of society.

The way he moved with such confidents – amazed me. I was impressed – to a point that I would simply forget the things around me and immerse myself in his world.

To me, he was the samurai from the distant land– the perfect warrior. And all I wanted to do was to be close to him, to watch him and never tear my eyes off him. This overwhelming desire even astonished myself, and yet there was nothing I could do to stop this infatuation. All the logics were cast aside; all the rational thoughts were forgotten, like an ancient artifact, buried under layers of soil.

While I was lost in my thoughts, my feet stopped on track. The suddenness of it pulled me back into reality. I jerked my head backward, and stared at the empty street in front of me. The trees, the houses, the cleanness of this avenue reminded me of my current location. I slowly turned my head to the right, finding myself facing the familiar black metallic bars – the obstacles that blocked my way, preventing me from reaching my dreams.

I walked toward the gates, enclosing the distance between us, while my eyes desperately searched for that familiar figure that captured my heart, mind and soul; the person that depleted my threadbare sanity. I stopped breathing, holding that breathe as a cold realization hit me. He was no where to be found. The cherry blossom was left alone, swaying by itself. The petals drifted weightlessly in the thin air. The mossy, grassy ground was just as emerald green as ever. The entire scenery hadn't changed a bit since the last time I had seen it, and yet, something was amiss.

He wasn't there…

I exhaled, letting the compressed air in my lungs to escape. An unexplainably heavy and dreary disappointment settled in my small heart as the beats slowed down, eventually fading into nothingness – into the surrounding soundlessness. My eyes saddened, the usual sparkling emerald orbs became hollow and dull, mirroring nothing but dissatisfaction and dismals. _He's not there…_ the harsh truth slapped me across the face, knocking me off my own feet.

The feeling was crushing in a sense.

"What are you doing here?" A voice demanded insolently, cocky and filled with a young boy's innocence and rudeness. The question startled me immensely, causing me to jump just slightly. My heart literally skipped a beat at the demanding voice echoed in my ears, vibrating my ear drums. I veered my attention to where the voice came from and what welcomed me at the opposite of the metallic bars were the pair of brilliant amber eyes that I desperately wished to see.

My jaws dropped and every part of my body became paralyzed under such fierce gaze. Surprise and disbelieves sparkled in my eyes, my emerald orbs widening to twice their original sizes. The sand in the hourglass seemed to have stopped moving. The ever-flowing time was frozen, paused. Everything around me appeared to be fading into the facades, becoming so distant, leaving only the two of us standing by that metallic gate that marked the invisible boundaries of our worlds.

This was as far as I could go. He was unreachable to me and that was the fact that I had to accept, no matter how much my mind wanted to deny it all. But at that moment, all my thoughts were tossed aside, left temporarily forgotten. All my troubles, my doubts – all were driven away by the beauty of his eyes, of his presence. He was just a few inches away from me. I could feel his breathe on my face, his extending warmth, vanquishing the coldness that threatened to devour us.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" He queried, his gaze pierced through my eyes and straight into my soul, reaching the deepest part of it. I felt exposed, naked in front him, as if I was an open book, and that all my darkest secrets were written on it. There was an urgency to pull away that fierce gaze, to cover myself up again, but I couldn't. I couldn't take my eyes off him, as if there was a magnetic force between us that was attracting me to him.

Instead of replying, I stayed silent, letting the whirling by wind to whistle on my behalf, as if it was trying to pass a message to him. I saw him opening his mouth, but only to close it again. I could see his hesitation clearly, yet I made no attempt to speak or reply to him. In truth, I was quite scared to talk, like I had always been. But there was another reason that was restraining me from stepping forward – I felt I was not good enough to be speaking to a person like him, a person with such high status.

Comparing to him, I was a mere peasant girl, filthy and worthless, while he was high above – like an unreachable but brilliant star.

My heart was pounding fast and hard, and I knew my hands were trembling on the side. This was like a dream come true for me, being able to stand so close to him, face to face, locking our eyes in such gaze. Seeing him from the afar was nothing comparing to seeing him up close. I could even see the specks and hints of hazel encircling his pupils. Such mixture of different shades of brown to amber appeared breathtakingly beautiful to me.

There was a slight frown on his face; an indication of impatience. "Can you talk?" He asked bluntly, his tone revealing his childish naivety. The entire upper part of my body was paralyzed, and my brain was blank, unable to process the words and signal my head to nod. I tried opening my mouth to draw out a response of some sort, but failed miserably as my voice decided to betray me at that very moment when I needed it the most.

"But you can hear me talking right?" He looked at me expectantly. I hauled out the only bit of strength and control in my body and nodded lightly. The movement was so small that it was unnoticeable to ordinary eyes, but nothing ever went unnoticed under his keen, observant cat-like eyes. Letting out a small relieved sigh, the corners of his lips lifted up just ever so slightly and formed a small smile, which further enhanced his handsome futures.

"Good, at least you can still hear." He stated, shifting a little, he straightened out his back and studied me curiously. I felt my face growing warmer by the seconds. He looked thoughtful for a moment, cocking his head to the side, a hand lifting the weight of his delicate chin. "I saw you almost every morning… you and your other long haired friend." It wasn't a statement nor was it a question. I stared at him, inquisitive and excited at the same time as I waited for his following up sentence.

But welcomed me was another suspenseful pause. Instead of continuing that unfinished sentence, he simply stared at me, with such intensity and curiosity. "You have nice eyes you know that? Not a lot of people around here have eyes with such color. It makes you special you know." After the long hiatus, he spoke again, complimenting me. But unlike the others, his compliments were sincere and honest. The heat, underneath the skin of my cheeks increased, causing me to flush red, but my heart was filled with contentment.

While my eyes tried to memorize every little detail of his features, my ears were recording his words. He blinked a few times, flapping those thick long lashes, hiding the burning ambers for a brief moment and only to reveal them again in a split of a second. "My mother saw you and the other girl passing by our house the other day, and she said you're a geisha in training. I've only seen a few geishas in my life, Kyoko-san being one of them. Don't know if you know her or not, but she's one of the top geishas in Kyoto and one of the best in Japan – according to grandpa anyway."

I remembered hearing his grandpa complimenting Kyoko-san, and how he was so intrigued and amazed by her beauty. An unfamiliar feeling arose from the hidden chambers of my heart, I was jealous of Kyoko-san, for gaining Syaoran's admiration.

"She would've been more beautiful if she had eyes as distinctive as yours." A shrugged followed his statement. He then looked down to take out an envelope from the pockets inside of his sleeves, smoothing it out before handing it to me through the gaps between the metallic bars.

"Do me a favor," he began, I looked at the neatly sealed envelope and then him, confused. He turned around to see if there was anyone around, as if this conversation carried a great degree of conspiracy and secrecy; as if something extremely bad was going to happen if it was ever heard by unfriendly ears. Seeing no direct threats or harms, his eyes landed on me once again.

"This is a letter that I need to mail out. But I'm not allowed to step out of this house. Grandpa forbids me to go anywhere on my own and I don't want people to see this letter. It's for my father and it's very important." He explained hurriedly, not bothering with the details. My dumbfounded brain took a while to process the ideas before sending out the signal that I was supposed to nod.

"I can tell that you're not a bad person. Though you may not be able to talk…" He trailed off as he looked at me meaningfully. I felt my heart being overwhelmed by joy and warmth. For once, I was being appreciated, and trusted. I told myself silently that I would for sure deliver this mail to the postbox, regardless of the cost. One of his hands reached to the obi that was wrapped neatly around his waist and tugged off a beautiful piece of jade that was hanging from his obi.

"Take this, it'll be your reward for delivering the mail. And afterwards, you can go sell it. It should be able to earn you a good amount of money." He said, passing the beautiful jade through the gates. I raised my hand into the air and touched it, feeling the coldness of the contact. I looked down, my eyes widened at the beauty of it. The round, circular shaped jade was tinged dark moss green in the center. The color slowly faded, to a lighter and lighter shade of green as it neared the edge, which was a color of pale emerald green.

I gaped at him in shock, feeling the weight of the piece of jade. He shrugged, unconcerned by the fact that he had just given away a very valuable piece of jade. "I got plenty of them at home anyway. You can keep it. You earned it fair and square by delivering that important letter for me."

"SYAORAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT THE GATES?" A call from somewhere behind him was heard. He snapped his head to the direction of the voice and turned to look at me again, his eyes revealing the panic and uneasiness roused in him.

"Go, hurry, before my cousin sees you! She'll go tell mother about this for sure!" A frown formed on his face as the heads of his two dark eyebrows confronted each other in the center. He waved his hand as a signal for me to leave, while he kept one of his eyes on the house. I heard rushed footsteps, growing louder and clearer by the seconds and was curious to see who his cousin was, but his eyes gave the flicker of hurry. I stumbled a little as I backed away from the gates, scampering for the closest tree to hide myself.

I placed my palms against the rough, rigid surface of the truck of the tree, while my head poked out just a little so I could see what was going on. Peaking, I stuffed the letter into my kimono, along with that piece of jade. I saw a girl with long raven hair approaching him. She was wearing a light orangey colored kimono with flowery patterns strewed across the pale orange background. The material of the kimono stood out, emitting an elegant glow under the soft sunlight, indicating that the material was woven of the finest silk.

She had a svelte figure, and her ruby red eyes left me astounded. They were like seas of scarlet water, so rare and beautiful. It matched the color of her hair perfectly, giving her an exotic appearance. While my eyes were drinking in the beauty of her visage and kimono, my ears listened carefully as to what was going on.

"Syaorannnn!" The girl whined, pouting cutely as she tugged the sleeves of his kimono. "Who were you talking to? You know aunt has a rule about no talking to strangers." She pulled his sleeves, stretching out the fine silky fabric and swung it back and forth.

Syaoran shoved her hands away, annoyance glinting in his amber eyes. "Stop that. It's annoying. And I wasn't talking to anyone. I just liked being near the gates for once in a while to look at the empty streets. And don't repeat mother's words to me, I'm not stupid or deaf you know, I can listen for myself thank you very much." He snapped, his eyes scowling as a sullen expression settled on his handsome face.

He then glanced at my way, before heading back to the main house. It seemed to me that he was trying to pass some sort of message to me. I nodded at him, letting the determinations in my eyes show as I assured him the letter was safe with me and that I would deliver it to the postbox for sure. The corner of his mouth curved up just slightly, a small smile playing on his lips. I smiled back so naturally, full of contentment.

The ends of his kimono fluttered as he strode off to the other direction, enlarging the distance between us. Though we were still separated by the same metal gates, the same garden, but I somehow felt we were as close as ever. With that train of thought trailing off my mind, I stepped out from my hiding spot and took out the letter from my kimono with great care and looked at the characters on it.

They all seemed so foreign and magical to me, since I had never had the chance to learn how to read, but I soon will learn, in my geisha lessons when we reached writing and reading. But for now, I allowed myself to be fascinated by the simple yet beautifully written hiraganas and kanjis. It was then I started to feel the weight of the jade on my chest and towed the delicate weight out of my kimono.

I was delighted to see the jade up close again, and to actually observe it. It had writing on it, but I didn't know what it was at this time. But I would later on learn how to read and realize that it was actually his name – the Chinese name of the boy who stole my heart the moment we met. The moment fate guided me to this place. I cupped my hands around it protectively, handling it with great delicacy.

I looked up, at the black metal gates, where the magical moment had happened. It was so unreal. I felt like I was in a dream, where there was just the two of us, and with the beautiful garden surrounding us. _Just the two of us…_ I wished the moment could last a bit longer, but I knew it was naïve of me to even wish for such impossible things.

I widened my smile. A gentle autumn breeze whirled by, picking up a few fallen leaves, lifting them off the ground and caused them to twirl weightlessly in the air. I let out a small sigh and started to resume my original quest, which was picking up the ornaments for Auntie. With that little contentment filling in my heart, I skipped and hopped happily down the empty street, my shoes making a quiet cling with the hard concrete ground.

But little did I know that this would be the last time I would see him in a few years.

Nanako-san was watching me from the afar, her eyes glinting a wicked intention, foreshadowing the sequence of unfortunate events that was bound to take place. But I was far too content at the moment to even notice the shadows that loomed over the quiet neighborhood.

This contentment would soon vanish as I return to the okiya… just like that brief moment…

_But it was so unreal…_

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A/N: whooot! Another chapter is done! This chapter is quiet short comparing to my other ones since there was only a little things need to be covered in this chapter. It would've been longer, but I decided not to make it so long. I would've went deeper into the tea ceremonies and geisha lessons parts, but many had complained about this story being too informative and boring. Though these are parts of the Japanese culture, and provides an insight look at the geisha's life, but since most of you don't want to be informed on any of those areas and want to move on to the romance, I'll just keep that part for myself then. And for those who are interested in finding out more about the art of geisha, you can email me or add me to your msn and I would be simply delighted to share my knowledge with you.

The next chapter will be the end of Sakura's childhood, and you'll see how I will fast forward things to their adulthood, where she'll be meeting Syaoran for the second time in her life. Most of you are probably more interested in that. But I thought the process of showing how Sakura and Syaoran first met is essential to the story. I once again apologize for the boringness of the chapter. But I like to keep things slow-paced. The story would be more solid that way. But I know most of you are used to the fast-paced fanfics, and it was probably a torture for you to read through this stuff. I apologize profusely for that, but I'm a writer who likes to give out background information first, to help the readers to understand the plot better.

Another for the slow pace of the story is because it has a historical setting, especially to those who are not familiar with the Chinese and Japanese history. I can't say that I'm an expert in this area, but my parents talk to me a lot about Chinese and Japanese history… 'cause they think I'm gonna become too westernized and forget about my own distinctive culture. I just thought it is important to address the background information first before thickening the plot. Most of the things in this story are historically accurate, and I've been doing some detailed research on World War II, especially on what life was like in Japan and China at the time etc.

Even though Syaora and Sakura are strangers to each other, but kids seem to trust strangers a lot. (From my observations anyway) Especially the ones they are fascinated by. So it's only normal for Syaoran to ask Sakura to deliver that letter for him. (I've had this kid coming up to me and asked me to buy something for him using the few coins he had. And there was this other kid who I met at the bus stop and asked me if I liked Yugioh XD)

I apologize for this super long authoress note at the end, but I just had to answer some questions posed in the reviews. And I hope this will provide you the information your looking for. Ja ne for now! The next update will be next week XD, and yes, I'm back to my weekly updates schedule again, for this story, since my muses came back to haunt me again.

**Reviews appreciated. Flames ignored. Constructive criticisms considered.**


	6. A Temporary Goodbye

**Withered Petals**  
_By: Aisaki Sumi_

A/N: the lazy girl is updating more frequently now! Keep up on reviewing guys! XP If you guys keep me inspired, I'll write up more chaps to entertain both myself and you guys! Sakura's childhood ends in this chapter and in the next things will be in the present and you'll see how I fast forward things without making it appear rushed X3. The long waited SxS moments are coming! Now on to the story!

**A special thanks to those who took the time to review!**

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**Chapter 6 A Temporary Goodbye

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Life could be such an unfair sadist at times. It lures you to it, with a temporary happiness, and just when you are about to reach out for it, it disappears, vanishes into the thin air. What welcomes you on the other hand is always the sadistic, taunting grin, full of mockery. I had my taste at the sadism of life that day, when I returned blithely to the okiya with the thought of Syaoran and the memories of earlier that day occupying my mind.

He had just asked me a favor. It was such an important task, but he handed it to me, trusted me whole-heartedly. No one had ever trusted me that much before, they either thought I was a useless, clumsy peasant girl, or someone who was too meek to carry out even the simplest tasks. I abandoned the task Auntie asked me to do for just a moment as I went down to the postbox that I saw often on my way to the geisha school.

I dropped it into the red metallic box carefully, not wanting to damage the delicate letter. I watched the brownish envelope fall through the tiny opening at the top of the postbox and heard a light thwack, an indication that the letter had landed safely, and was now safe with the postman. A gleeful smile played on my lips as I took one hard look at the postbox, where the letter was and let out a small relieved sigh, feeling the weight lifting off my shoulder. _Mission accomplished. _

I turned around and tilted my chin upward, my eyes swept across the cerulean silk elongate from the horizons. The white fleecy clouds of the shape of marshmallows chased after one another, as if they were playing a game of tag. I was envious of their freedom, how they could float so care-freelly in the sky. There was no boundary to divide them up, no metal gates to keep them apart from each other. They were embraced by liberty. _I wanted that…_

My eyes saddened just slightly as that train of thought trailed off my mind, but nonetheless, I told myself to stay cheerful and grateful. I felt so blessed to be given the chance of a life time to meet him, seeing him up close, eye to eye, and face to face.

I remembered the powerful aura he emitted and the faint scent of jasmine and spice that surrounded him, adding on to the pleasance of the late autumn air. Just like his personality, he was so pure and boyish, like jasmine, yet he was strong, ambitious and powerful – full of flourishing passions for life and what it had offered him.

I looked down at the jade stone in my hand, admiring it. It was the same color as my eyes, but far more beautiful. He told me to sell this piece of jade stone, but how could I ever do that? This was the greatest gift I had ever received from anyone, and there was absolutely no way would I exchange it for cash. It was too precious and its value – to me – was priceless. I smiled warmly at it, tugging it close to my heart where I would treasure it for the rest of my life.

It was then I remembered that I had completely forgotten about my reason of being here. I still had to pick up the ornaments Auntie asked me to pick up for Nanako-san. Panicking a little as I glanced at the far horizon, the area of blue near the verge of reality was tinged slightly orangey, hinting me the hours were getting late.

I placed the jade stone back into the hidden pocket inside of my kimono and smoothed out the fabric before I hurried myself down the streets and away from the postbox, heading toward my original destination.

By the time I got back to the okiya, the sun had already set. I panted heavily as I came into a stop at the main entrance of the okiya. Sweat trickled down my forehead, wetting the already dampened locks of auburn hair, causing them to stick to my forehead and the sides of my cheeks in a very uncomfortable fashion. I brushed them aside, annoyed by it. The back of my kimono was soaked in sweat, due to the fact that I ran back from the jewelry store as quick as I could, but I simply ignored it.

I took a few minutes to catch my breath, placing a hand on my fast rising and falling chest. I smiled faintly as the tips of my fingers felt the structure of the jade stone. Just by touching it, I could feel all my troubles and worries disappearing into the night, as if they were never there. His gift provided me the strength I needed to accomplish my goals, urging me to work as hard as I could to eventually fulfill my dreams of becoming a true geisha.

I inhaled in the cool breezy air and pushed the door open with a confident smile on my face, as if I was ready for anything thrown at my way – because he had lent me his strength, inspired me into believing I could accomplish many things – many important things such as delivering that important letter. One of my feet landed on the okiya's stoned ground, making a soft cling sound with my wooden slipper.

But what welcomed me on the other side was the darkened, empty courtyard that lacked the lively spirit it had in the morning, and a very concerned Shizuko-san. My eyes widened slightly and my lips parted, showing my surprise. She was a tall woman, well-built comparing to the other maids I had seen around. She was in her late thirties, lines of experience drawing across her forehead, revealing her wisdom. Some stretched out to the corners of her dark ink-colored eyes. One of her hands – I noticed – was holding a large cooking spoon, used to stir the hot miso soup.

While I gazed at her round, worried face, my mind pondered on the reason of her being here. It was already dinner time and usually around this time, she would be in the kitchen, busy preparing for everyone's meal, especially mother's, since she was a very picky woman and liked things done the way she wanted them to be. Shizuko-san looked around to check if someone was around, just like what Syaoran had done a while back at the gates.

Perplexed, I cocked my head to the side, my eyes giving the confused flicker. After she had done inspecting our surroundings, she bent down until her face was inches away from mine. She was so close to me that I even could smell the greasy, oily scent that clutched her raven hair that was woven into a fine tight knot. "Mother is furious right now." I gasped at the information, feeling myself falling backward. I had just lost my balance.

Shizuko-san grabbed onto my tiny shoulder before I could fall on my butt. "Careful there. You should always watch your steps." She gently chided and patted me. "Auntie told me to keep an eye on you and inform you on mother's current state. She was fine this morning, and seemed pretty cheerful. But she turned all moody and angry after Nanako-san came back from the tea party she was attending. I'm not sure what happened but Nanako-san probably said something bad about you. She does that to everyone she hates and make their lives as miserable as she can."

I gaped at Shizuko-san, shock and disbelieve flashing in my eyes. I didn't remember getting on Nanako-san's bad side. Auntie told me to respect her and stay silent when she gave me lectures, and I did. _But how…_ My usual collective mind was once again in a jumble. I just couldn't figure out what I did wrong. But I knew the worst was coming at my way. _An infuriated mother… _I swallowed hard, feeling a lump building up in my throat.

"Good luck Sakura-chan! Auntie's here too, in mother's room, she'll try to help you out." Shizuko-san probably saw the crushed expression on my face, but her kind words did not help to improve my mood. Instead, I felt worse than before. I was dragging Auntie down with me. Maybe this was the consequence I had to suffer as a result of my irresponsible actions, maybe this was the punishment I would get for wandering around instead of doing what I was told to do.

Tightening my fists, I took a deep breath and strolled off toward the main house, to confront my own fate. But I knew I was scared, my hands were trembling, my legs felt weak as if they would collapse at any given moment. The sickening feeling returned to my stomach, turning it upside down, twisting the ends of it until I was overwhelmed by the urgency to vomit. The air seemed heavy with dread, the careless, warmth-stealing wind whispering a nameless fear. I felt cold, and shaky. Even the gentlest breeze at that moment could tip over my delicate balance.

Reaching the main house and the end of the darkened tunnel-like corridor, I saw a strand of soft, dim candle light seeping through the little gap between the two pieces of paper screened sliding doors. I turned my head to the right just slightly, and saw the unclear figures of three people, which two I recognized must be Mother and Auntie, but I wasn't sure about the third person.

Pushing the thoughts aside, I hauled into a stop as I reached the end of the corridor, where the entrance of mother's room was. She had one of the largest rooms in the okiya. It was four times the size of Tomoyo's room. I gulped, feeling the cold sweat trickling down my face, yet my hands were as cold as ever, quavering and numbed. The tips of my fingers found their way around the curvature of the sliding door, which served as the handles, and propelled it open.

Even though the light of the room was dim, but somehow it had a blinding affect on me. I closed my eyes just slightly. After a brief moment of adjustment, I examined the room and felt mother's piercing gaze on me. I swallowed hard as our eyes met in an unfriendly confrontation. There were flames of anger in those dark, raven, peculiar orbs. Her thin eyebrows were furrowed, meeting each other in a frown, and her already thin lips were pressed into a line of scarlet. I could tell that Mother was indeed very displeased.

"Where have you been for the afternoon?" Mother questioned, her voice was raspier than before but as demanding and powerful as ever. I broke our eye contact and shifted my gaze to Auntie's face, but what I saw were concerns and disappointment. Auntie appeared so pale and gaunt, her face slim and pointy, exhausted and worried. I bit the corner of my mouth and chewed it uneasily. I knew I was in deep troubles.

Beside Auntie, seated a beautiful geisha – Nanako-san, her smile was just as graceful and gorgeous as ever, but there was something smugly and eerie about it that sent shivers down my spine. Her eyes revealed a cruel and wicked intention, she as obviously amused by the tough situation I got myself into. I knew she didn't like me much, but I didn't think she would ever have the reason to hate me.

"I… I went to pick up Nanako-san's ornaments." I explained and kept my eyes on the ground instead of on mother's face. It was easier that way, and I could shield the guilty glint in my eyes that was bound to give me away. What I had said wasn't a lie, but also not entirely true. I spent most of my time at the gates and to the postbox instead of heading straight to the store and pick up the things I was supposed to pick up.

Mother cleared her throat, making a loud rough grunt before she ordered, "bring forward the ornaments." I was a little startled. My hands reached for the hidden pocket in my kimono and took out the ornaments wrapped in a white cotton handkerchief. I tumbled a little as I walked forward, my legs moved with such difficulties and I knew that my movement looked extremely ungraceful and awkward.

I handed it to mother. Her warm hands contacted my cold ones briefly as she grabbed the package. I heard the clinging sounds of the hair ornaments and the rustling of silk, made by her movements. She was probably examining it under the light to inspect for flaws. Mother liked things to be perfect and if she disliked it, she would go yell at whoever made it and bargain for a lower price for the same thing.

"And? Where else did you go?" I could hear the underlying ire and impatience in her calm, rich of timber tone. My chest tightened at the question. A part of me told me to lie, but the other part told me to speak the truth and ask for their forgiveness sincerely. Instead of picking one of the two choices, I chose the alternative one– to remain silent. The three pairs of eyes were fixed upon me. I could feel their intensities and expectants.

"You were wandering around on the streets were you?" The cold, iciness of her words felt like a slap across the face. I flinched but kept my head low. I didn't have enough courage to look straight into those irked eyes or face her directly. "If you think remaining silent would get you out of the troubles you are in right now, you are deeply wrong little girl! If Nanako didn't pass by the Sakuraji street, I wouldn't even know this. What were you thinking walking down that street? Have you any idea who lives in those mansions?" Her harsh voice echoed in the quiet room.

"Some of the most powerful people in Japan live in those fancy mansions. Only a few geishas have the privilege to go there, and you're definitely not one of them, and will never be one of them at this rate." My pride was hurt, I felt the frown deepening on my face, and the urge to glare at her and tell her that I didn't need to be a geisha to be able to walk down those empty streets. I didn't need to have a high status to talk to Syaoran. He didn't see me as a peasant girl, instead, he complimented me, trusted me, and asked me for a favor.

But I didn't, it would work against my benefits. Mother obviously didn't notice the frown occupied my face and ranted on, "And to make things worse, you were bothering the one and only grandson of the powerful Yanagi family, the heir to the multibillion Yanagi Enterprise! The young boy Nanako saw you talking at the gates is the future CEO of that enterprise! The well-known shopping centers in Kyoto, Osaka, Tokyo, and many other cities – those are all owned by the Yanagi family!"

I gasped as I titled my head, my eyes mirroring shock and disbelieve. I was stunt by the piece of information unveiled before me. I knew Syaoran was from a rich powerful family with a high status, but I didn't know he was from that kind of family. I might still be new at Kyoto, but even I had seen some of the packages sent to our okiya with the name Yanagi Enterprise printed on it. My jaws were dropped to the ground and mother tossed me one of her cold sneers.

"Who did you think he was?" She snorted. "His grandfather, Yanagi-sama, is very protective of that young boy. And you, by speaking to him without any permission and whatsoever will bring unwanted troubles to our okiya. His grandfather will be furious if he ever finds out this, and then, everyone in this okiya will suffer because of your stupid mistake and bad judgment."

I tumbled as I stepped backward, my eyes landed on Auntie's pale face and saw the weary and tired expression on her face. I knew Mother wasn't bluffing. The thought of everyone in the okiya suffering made me turn cold, a freezing feeling rushed down my veins, squeezing the life out of me (1). "I hope you understand the seriousness of this. Yanagi-sama is very protective of that grandson of his, since it was the only son his daughter has and he's counting on him to take the enterprise to the next level."

Mother let out a sigh, rubbing her temples. "But what's done is done, and you will receive a punishment for your behaviors. I've made myself clear on the first day of your arrival and informed you on the set of strict rules we have here at the okiya." She averted her attention away from me and turned to face Auntie, who had been quiet throughout the entire time. "Auntie, please pass me the wooden stick."

My eyes increased to thrice its original size as I heard mother's request. _A stick…_ the word echoed in my ears, nearly deafening me as I realized what it meant. _A stick, and punishment._ My mind was blank and my legs felt weaker than ever. I looked at Auntie, my eyes pleading with tears. I had heard about Mother's punishments before, from the maids, and it was something that I would never want to experience in this life time.

"Mother." Auntie interrupted. "Let me take care of this." She requested, her hands folded firmly onto her lap. Mother gave her a doubtful look, obviously suspecting something. "Sakura has a bright future ahead of her. Just look at the startling eyes she has. Her teachers had praised her cleverness and I think it would be greatly wasted if something bad happens to her and disable her from becoming a geisha." This was a desperate attempt to change mother's mind, and I could see the despair and desperation in Auntie's hazel eyes.

Mother hesitated for a moment, a hiatus followed as she put a hand under her chin, looking thoughtful as if she was trying to decide between which one she should bet her money on. "Alright, alright, I'll give her another chance. But I want to see her thoroughly punished and you better not go to easy on her. She needs to be taught a lesson if she wants to survive not just in this okiya, but also in the complex society we have here in Kyoto."

Auntie nodded in reply, getting up and straightening out the folded fabric of her kimono. She raised a hand to signal me to bow and follow her to the outside. I felt the weight that was crushing my heart a moment ago lessening. I bowed to mother as low as possible and followed Auntie out, but before I stepped out of the room, I stole one last glance at Nanako-san, who was sitting beside mother with such graceful composure. I saw displeasure on her beautiful face, and dissatisfaction. She probably wanted to Mother to give me a beating, but wasn't expecting the more lenient punishment.

The walk to the courtyard was spent in pure silence and I dared not to ask questions but to follow Auntie. She led me through the darkened corridor, the way she did before, except this time things were different. The feeling was different, it was heavy and dreary. The cool breeze of the night caressed my already cold cheeks, brushing aside the locks of auburn silk that framed my face.

Auntie turned around, the ever-present smile on her face was absent. "Kneel down." She instructed, the gentleness of her tone disappeared into the night. I did what I was told do and puffed a sharp breath as I felt the coldness of the stoned ground that seeped through the thin layer of cotton kimono I wore. The chilliness of it was bone-shuddering, but I made no complaints. After all, it could've been worse.

Auntie then walked over to the old well we had in the court yard, under the large branches of the cherry blossom tree that was now withered and perished by the invasive coldness of late autumn. The beautiful blossoms I saw on my arrival were no longer there. She came back with two buckets of water, each filled to the top of the bucket. I looked at her questioningly, curious of what she had in mind with the water.

"Take it and hold it. You are not allowed to drop them." Auntie stated, the darkness of the night shadowed her expression, making it unreadable. "I've done the best to save you from the beating from Mother, but this is something you must do. Ever since your arrival at the okiya, I told you repetitively not to displease mother, not to wander around without permission, and most importantly of all, follow the instructions given to you." Unbearable guilt rushed into the chambers of my heart, causing it to throb, to ache.

"But you refused to listen to me. You're throwing away your future you know that!" I could hear the underlying anger and disappointment in Auntie's voice, but I couldn't blame her. This was my fault after all, if only I wasn't so blinded by own desires to see him, things would've been different. If only I was more careful of my own actions, I would've even had to be stuck in the situation I was in.

Yet my felt no regrets. It was worth it, everything was worth the pains. If suffering was the exchange I have to make to have a moment with him, then let it be. I held the two water buckets, feeling the weight, the force of gravity pulling me downward. My arms were now sore, throbbing with pain, but I didn't yelp in pain or make any noise in fact. There was a sharp pain shooting up from my knees, an indication that it was beginning to swell up and bruise.

"But be glad that Mother didn't get her hands on you. If she did, you would be half dead right now." Auntie sighed bitterly, releasing a small puff into the cold air. "This will be a bit painful, but you'll be fine in two weeks or so. I'm going to go now, don't move or drop anything unless you are told to understand?" She glanced at my way, expecting a reply of some sort. I nodded weakly, my arms trembling and turning colder and paler by the seconds, but I didn't let go.

Auntie paused a moment to take one last look at me, as if she was trying to remember me forever. She leaned forward, her warm hand rustling my auburn hair gently. I could feel the warmth of her body, even though it was faint, I could still feel it, along with her kindness. I was thankful to have met someone like her, who assumed the role of my mother after I was abandoned. She protected me as if I was her child, and embraced me with a love that I thought I could no longer find.

With that, she patted my head gently, and pulled away, walking off to another direction. I sighed heavily, while looking down onto the ink-colored water in the bucket. It was reflecting the beautiful velvety night sky above me. Continuous ripples were created due to my quavering arms. They were tired and sore, numbed by the overwhelming pain I felt a moment ago. I felt my arms were no longer a part of my body.

I closed my eyes, as my desperate attempt to forget about the situation I was in and occupy my mind with more cheerful to keep myself away from dwelling on other feelings too much. The picture of Syaoran appeared on my mind as I tried to recreate a detailed portrait of him using my memories. His eyes were as intensive and passionate as ever, the pair of beautiful amber orbs sparkling with such remarkable enthusiasm for life.

A smile curled on my lips as my mind began to retrospect, taking me back to the place where my heart desired to be the most. I was once again at the gates, and he was on the other side, smiling so brilliantly. It wasn't a large small, nor was it a childish grin, it was a smile of confidence. My surroundings started to fade away, becoming distant. My body was as cold as ice, the thin layer I wore provided me no defense against the invasive, crushing coldness of the night.

My vision became unclear and blurry. I felt myself falling into an abyss of darkness, but I kept on smiling. The memories of him kept me content…

……

A vanquishing heat spread throughout my body, like a fast spreading poison. I could feel the heat rushing through my veins, burning every single part of my body, dislodging me into a fiery world that was all too foreign to me. My breath was heavy, gasping for the air in excess. It felt like something was crushing my chest, attempting to deprive me of my life, my last breath.

My back was drenched in sweat, and my arms wanted to extend out of the cover. But every time I tried to pull my burning arms out, someone tugged it back under the cover and sealed the opening that I created for myself. A cold hand touched my forehead, as it lifted up the only cold source I had to keep my mind sane from all the burning. I felt I was on fire, burning to ashes yet no one offered me water, or help.

Struggling, I groaned uncomfortably. I wanted to escape, but I couldn't. "It's okay Sakura-chan… you'll be fine… go back to sleep…" I heard a distinctive murmur, it was soft and quiet. It sounded like music to my ears. I settled down a bit, trying my best not to think about the heat. I struggled to force my eyes open, but my eyelids were as heavy as a ton.

"Go back to sleep…rest… so you can get well soon…" The velvety voice continued, the gentle hand stroking my dampened hair. The feeling was soothing and soul-calming. All the restlessness in me started to wear out, I gave into the welcoming coolness of the contact. The feather-light touches managed to steal away from the excessive heat, reducing the burning sensation felt moments ago.

"I'll tell you a story… a beautiful tale about two people." She continued. "This happened a while ago… when I was still a teenager… two people met at Kyoto University and fell in love, but they couldn't be together. The girl was the only successor of the Yanagi family, but the boy was a Chinese. Even though he was from an equally powerful and wealthy Chinese family, the girl's father still disproved their relationship. They tried eloping once, and it was quiet successful. But the Yanagi family eventually found their hiding spot and took the girl back by force."

I listened carefully, trying to grasp the meaning behind the story, but my brain was blank and uncooperative at the moment. "By that time, they already had a son. The Yanagi family couldn't do anything about it, since what was done was done, however they took custody of the child and forbade the child's young father to see him. The child's father was exiled and was only allowed to return and visit the child once three years… and do you know who the child is?"

I wanted to shake my head, but I didn't have enough strength to even allow the tiniest movements. There was a pause after her question, as if she was waiting for my response. She then went on, seeing no reactions from me. "That young boy is the one you were talking to today…" Her voice trailed off, fading into a whisper, or maybe it was just my sleepiness, striking at the worst possible time. I wanted to hear the rest of the story, but before I could even put up a fight with the invading exhaustion, I had already fallen into a deep slumber.

The sleep lasted for days and days. Auntie told me afterwards that I had a high fever. But this was the last time I would see him in another six years. I was forbidden to take that trail again, and mother warned me that if I was found again wandering down that particular street again, I would be tossed out of the okiya and never to become a geisha.

I thought I would never see him again; I thought that the hope of us becoming friends had died out, vanished, like a fleeting flicker of existence, and with just the careless gentle breeze, it'll go out with nothing remaining but a temporary smoke. But I was wrong…

_We would soon meet again, at the first tea party that I was going to as an apprentice geisha…_

_Our meeting was only a matter of time…

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A/N: I have a habit of ending a chapter like this lolz, it foretells what's going to happen next and what to expect. Sakura's childhood officially ends here, with her being sick from the punishment. But I'll leave the part about how she got sick and etc for the beginning of the next chapter. And GOOD NEWS EVERYONE, SxS interactions will kick in the next chapter! Stay tuned for the kawaii moments ahead. XD

Regarding to Syaoran's father and mother's part, I will explain things in detail in the next few chapter, but for now, let's just leave it as that vaguely told story by Auntie. Everyone in Kyoto knew that story, it was like a legendary love story with a tragic ending. (See why Syaoran wants to send his father a letter but couldn't because his grandpa doesn't allow him to do so? X3)

My inspiration died half way through the chapter XD because I took a little break in between and read a few of Jennifier-san's angsty FujiRyoma fics. I felt extremely shamed about my own writing and how I can never touch people's heart they way she did with her fics. The elegant, beautiful language she was to bring the story to life… gosh… it was just beautiful. The updates might slow down again… I don't want to abandon this story but my BL muses drove again my interest in SxS. This chapter is not as good as I wanted it to be. The descriptive language is absent and most parts are probably incomplete. I couldn't get the words flow right again. And the overly kawaii Naruto x Sasuke scenes keep on repeating in my mind. My BL muses might really kill off my already waning interest for SxS.

Please review and let me know if I should continue this story or not. And it would be helpful if someone can suggest ideas on how to get my SxS interest back again before it disappears completely and turn me into a 200 percent BL fangurl. XD REVIEW!

**Reviews appreciated. Flames ignored.**

(1) The expression is interpreted upon Juliet's soliloquy when she was confused about the sleeping veil she was told to drink. I don't remember what Shakespeare wrote exactly, but the lines meant something close to that. X3 YAP I'm a Shakespearean play dork.


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